Seedlings of a Songbird
by Raven55
Summary: As the flower of love blossoms in her heart, the seedlings of madness grow too, ready to choke an already wilting flower. [Squinoa plus a secret pairing. Rated just for safety of the later chapters]
1. The Beginning of the End

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.

**AN: **This is the first time I've really tried to portray Rinoa as a person I like, I've seriously doubted her character for a while. But now I wanted to give her the chance to prove herself, so be ware of some ooc'ness, because I'm not used to writing Rinoa. This is something I've never tried before. I wanted to write something that also had a serious edge to it, not just a hopelessly romantic fic. I don't know if I've succeeded, but I hope you will all enjoy this story. It's been hard to write :)

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**- Seedlings of a Songbird -**

**- Chapter one: The beginning of the end -**

She leaned her head against his shoulder and looked at her feet. Angelo stared up at her with expectation.

"I think he wants you to feed him."

She sighed. "But it's not even dinnertime yet..."

"If you don't, he'll stand there till you do."

She nodded, knowing he was right.

"Okay, I'll feed him. But no midnight snack later, mister." She said, wagging her finger at the dog with a smile.

She stood up, straightened her blue vest and sat down on her knees to look Angelo in the eyes.

"Right, I'm going to feed you. Will you leave us alone then?"

The dog looked back at her with his sparkly eyes.

"I'll be right back!" she called out behind her.

Squall chuckled and followed her out to the kitchen. He watched her scrape dogfood from a tin can. She smiled at him apologetically when she had set the feeding tray down on the floor.

"Sorry about that."

He smiled back. "That's okay."

He stepped closer and hugged her. She let his warmth surround her as he closed her in his arms. She enjoyed knowing that he had given her one of his rare genuine smiles. It meant that he was in a good mood.

"Where were we?" she heard him whisper in her ear.

She giggled and kissed him.

"Right about here." She whispered back with a cheeky grin.

He leaned in to kiss her again when a sudden beep from his pocket broke the romantic moment. He let her go and reached in his pocket to answer the call.

"This is Squall...yes...okay...yes...fine. I'll be there."

He sighed as he pocketed the little black phone.

"Cid says he needs me to look at something. I'm sorry."

She stepped back, forcing an understanding smile on her face. "No, it's okay. I understand. You're the commander, right? This comes with the job."

"Are you sure you don't mind?" he asked her again.

"Of course. I know you're an important person, I really do understand." She pecked his cheek and shooed him out the door.

"I really am sorry." He said before she closed the door.

"Well, at least this way I can start studying for my test. Go on, mister commander. Your boss is waiting." She said with a grin.

Squall nodded and turned around. She closed the door and let herself fall down on the couch. She let out a deep sigh.

Why was it always like this? As soon as they were enjoying a romantic moment, something would come to disturb it. Either it was Cid, calling for help, or it would be something else. They never really had the chance to try and relax, they never got anywhere at this rate.

She patted the empty seat next to her and Angelo, who had just finished his meal, jumped on and laid his head on her lap. Her fingers played with his fur.

"I need some attention too, you know." She said to the emptyness. "I need an arm around me every so often...I need warmth."

Angelo looked up at her with sad little eyes, as if he understood what she was saying, and then nuzzled his nose deeper in her lap.

She stroked his fur and sighed. Then she reached out for her book on the table and opened it. The SeeD textbook stared back at her coldly and with slight reluctance she began to read. The words only slightly made sense to her as here eyes glided over the page.

Angelo closed his eyes. Rinoa stared at him. Then she pushed the dog from her lap and threw her book back on the table. She stood up and turned on the computer. She slowly clicked on the forum and logged in.

Her eyes searched the screen until she saw a new message.

'_I wanted to catch a glimpse of my bluejay tonight. I'll be waiting by her cage.'_

Rinoa looked away. She tried to ignore the words that burned their way into her skin from their place on the screen.

She looked at a photograph next to the computer. It was a picture of her and Squall, happy in the garden at the old orphanage. She could still feel the sun from that day on her skin. She closed her eyes for a moment and smiled.

But her fingers already hovered over the keyboard hesitantly. Could she just ignore that feeling or could she ignore those words?

She shook her head and felt her fingers type a reply. She felt a litlle tear in the corner of her eyes but ignored it as she bit her lip.

* * *

"So what does it mean?" 

"We're not sure. We're not even sure about where it came from."

Squall studied the drawing. It had been pasted over the Garden logo outside. "Probably just some prank. One of the students must've though it was funny."

"I don't know, sir. We'll check it out."

Squall shook his head. "Leave it for the Disciplinary Comittee. That's their thing. And let them check with the festival committee too. It might just be one of Selphie's ideas."

The boy nodded and saluted. Squall sighed and sat down in a chair. He looked at Cid, who was staring pensively at the ceiling. He felt Squall's eyes on him and looked back.

"What is it? Something the matter?"

"Well..." Squall said slowly. "I was wondering why...why you called me up for this. Couldn't the Disciplinary Committee have handled this?"

"I thought it would be good for you to know more about what is going on in your Garden. You seem to be less involved with what goes on every time I see you. Don't you want to know what happens here?" Cid said calmly.

"I do...But that doesn't mean I have to know about every little prank or incident like this, does it?"

Cid sighed. "I suppose not. But as long as you're in charge of Garden you ought to have at least a little idea of what goes on. I mean, for all we know, this innocent little drawing is someone's raddical statement about something." He said with a wry smile.

"I'm going to delegate this on to someone else." Squall muttered. "Not of garden!" he added quickly. "But I'm going to let someone else take care of this and let them report back to me. Talk to my delegat about anything that's got to do with this...'radical statement', call me if it gets out of hand. I'm too busy to do it myself."

Cid looked at him. He wondered what had made Squall so short tempered today. Perhaps he had called him up at a bad moment.

Squall stood up. "Can I go now, sir? I have plans, you see."

Cid nodded. "Yes, you can go. Oh, and Squall, Take the drawing with you. If you see Selphie, ask her if this is one of her promotion stunts."

Squall took the poster and saluted before leaving. He walked through the coridors, wondering about what to do next. He _could_ go to Balamb quickly to buy some flowers for Rinoa. That would make up for his having to leave so abruptly.

She had said that she understood and that she didn't mind, but he knew that she didn't like him being called away so often. He wandered over to the main Hall, but when he got there, he saw that Selphie was intstructing some first year students to put something up.

"Selphie!" he called out.

She looked up and waved at him.

"Oh hey Squall." She said merrily.

"What are you doing?" he asked, pointing at the banner she was holding on to with one hand.

"Oh, nothing much. We're checking to see what kind of banners we can hang up. Just testing. These are blank."

"Oh..." he looked at the banner and then at the drawing. "Do you have a theme planned? You know, for this year's festival?"

"We're still thinking about a theme, actually. It's really hard, though. No one's thought of one yet."

He gave her the drawing. "So this isn't yours?"

She looked at it. "Hmm, can't say I've seen this before. But I _do_ like it, it's really good! Hey, perhaps _this_ is a good theme for us!"

She jumped up and down excitedly.

"Thanks, Squall! You just gave me an idea! Come on guys, we'll do that later. We need to get back to the Quad."

Squall watched her skip away with the drawing in her hand.

"Oh well, I'll get it back tomorrow."

He let out a sigh and yawned. He let his feet walk him to his dormitory. He was looking forward to go to sleep with Rinoa in his arms.

Once he was inside his own dorm, he threw his jacket over the back of a chair. He looked around, but Rinoa wasn't there. On the desk he found a little note.

'_Hey Squall, I went to study at the library. Angelo was distracting me. I don't know what time I'll be back, so don't wait up. I'll join you as soon as possible. Hug and kisses, Rinoa.'_

Squall sighed. So much for falling asleep with her in his arms. He laid down, pulled the covers up to his ears and closed his eyes and as he stifled a yawn, he fell asleep.

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**This was just an introduction, it'll get a more tense soon Please let me know what you think so far because a review is just the press of a button away ;)**  
**Love, raven55**


	2. Trapped

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.

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**- Chapter two: Trapped -**

"When will I see you again?"

"N-not too soon..."

"Why not?"

"...Because I don't want to, okay? Besides, you'll see me at lunch."

"But that's not the same and you know that."

"Perhaps. But _you_ know I have other obligations too. I can't just think about you all day..." she pushed him away from her, avoiding his attempts to kiss her again.

He watched her leave and close the door.

"Damn it." He hissed.

* * *

He watched her walking around on the stage. She was muttering to herself. She seemed to be measuring up the stage. 

"Sefie...what are you doing?"

She ignored him and shouted another measurement to a girl at the other end of the stage.

"Sefie..."

"Just one more minute...I'm almost done." She answered back.

She stared up into the sky and tried to guess how high up the stage lights were.

"Irvy, how high do you think this is?"

He sighed. "I don't know. Ask one of the techies, they put it up, didn't they?"

"Yeah, but the techies aren't here now, are they. And I need to get this down to the committee board today."

Irvine looked around and saw that one of the other festival members was trying not to catch his eye. "You there...how 'bout you climb up there with a measuring tape and drop one end to the floor."

The boy tried to object but Irvine gave him a light push in the direction of the stage.

"I don't know...is it safe?" Selphie wondered.

"Sure it is! Now come on. Let's go get some lunch, I'm hungry."

Selphie nodded slowly and followed him. She quickly told one of her friends to get this done by the end of the day. Irvine wrapped his arm around her waist and hugged her.

She giggled and kissed his cheek. "Come on, I thought you were hungry."

"Yeah I am. But I'm also hungry for you." He replied witha cheeky grin.

She giggled and blushed furiously. He laughed and hugged her again. She always blushed when he made jokes like that. She tried to hide her embaressement as she noticed he was only joking around.

"Well, let's go then." She said. "To the cafeteria." She added hastily as she saw a devious smile cross his face.

When they had seated themselves, they waited for their friends to join them. Rinoa was the first and Squall wasn't with her. She sat down and looked at the door expectantly.

"Where's Squall?" Selphie asked.

"I don't kow. Cid needed him to sign some papers a few hours ago and he's been up there in that office ever since. You know what he's like. He wants to do everything perfect and detailed."

"I'm sure he'll come down soon. Even Squall needs food." Irvine said joking.

Rinoa looked across the table. She didn't need jokes about Squall right now, she was already feeling confused enough.

Irvine noticed her discomfort and decided to leave her alone. "So Selphie, what's this big thing you've got planned? Is it another party?"

Selphie smiled misteriously. "No, not a party. It's a surprise. You'll see. I got the idea yesterday when Squall showed me a pretty drawing."

"What kind of drawing?" Rinoa asked.

She was interested in anything that had to do something with art now she had started drawing herself.

"Oh, I can't tell you that, it'd spill the surprise."

"Oh."

Rinoa allowed her thoughts to wander. She wanted Squall by her side. She always felt so lonely when he wasn't around. And seeing Irvine and Selphie cuddling happily didn't really make her forget Squall's absence.

She looked up when someone walked over to them. It was Quistis. She sat down with a cup of coffee in her hand. She sipped it and threw down a paper on the table.

"Listen to this! According to some journalist in Balamb there's a strange man walking around, killing girls. Says he's witnessed at least one of the killings."

She cleared her throat and read the statement.

"The suspect first sent his victims notes in which he threatened them. Next he made pictures of them and scratched out their faces. In the end he'd follow them around and attack as soon as he finds them alone."

Quistis laughed and emptied her cup. The others looked at her in shock. She rolled her eyes.

"Oh, come on. This journalist was found in a puddle of drink before he made his statement. According to his neighbours he was emotionally unstable and needy of attention. And how could he have known all those details?"

"So what happened to the journalist?"

"The police arrested him for wasting police time. The put him in a cell overnight so he could sober up. Didn't know where he was the next morning. Besides, there haven't been any murders or missing people that seem to have _any_ connection to this fairytale whatsoever. This was nothing more than his imagination run wild."

Rinoa nodded. "I'm glad they arrested him. He sounds scary to me. What if he went round scaring more people with this stuff. What if he had given some other basketcase ideas..."

"What are they gonna do with him?" Selphie asked.

"Well, his lawyer tried to plead for him by saying he was a nutter. So some team of doctors decided he suffered from MPS, multi personality syndrome, but instead of helping him, it caused the judge to put him in a mental home though he could've just spent fifty hours picking up garbage and then be off instead."

"He should sue his lawyers then." Irvine grinned.

"At least this nonsense has stopped now. There are some crazy people in this world."

"Like who?"

"Squall!" Rinoa jumped up and hugged him tightly.

He smiled and placed a kiss on her temple.

"Want to go to Balamb for some lunch?" he whispered in her ear.

She nodded vigorously. A moment alone with Squall was just what she wanted and what she longed for.

"You bet I do. But on one condition. That you shut off that pager of yours."

He grinned broadly.

"Deal." And with one hand he pulled the little thing from his pocket, switched it off and placed it in the pocket of his jacket.

She kissed him happily and clung to his arm with a content smile on her face. She loved it when he acted so sweet. She loved it when he only paid attention to her, because then she knew that he was still hers and that they still belonged together.

She needed to be reminded of that sometimes when she was on her own. But she felt contently warm with him to cling to. With one wave to their friends, they left.

Selphie yawned and leaned her head on Irvine's shoulder.

"How come we never go out to Balamb anymore?" she wondered.

"Because you're always stuck to that stage of yours in the Quad." Irvine teased.

She stuck out her tongue at him, but quickly pulled it back when he tried to kiss her.

"No not now, silly." She said quietly.

She didn't wan to be too mushy around other people, it made her feel uncomfortable.

"Sorry...I forgot." Irvine said.

He placed his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. He stared at the door through which Squall and Rinoa had just disappeared. Somehow he felt uncomfortable sitting there.

He stood up and pulled Selphie with him. "Come on, Sefie. Let's be spontanious. I think I can think up a little romantic place to have lunch."

She giggled. "Romantic? Are you ill?"

He laughed. "Perhaps. And perhaps there's only one way to cure me. But you won't give it to me."

She blushed again. He winked and kissed her forehead.

"Only joking, Sefie. Only joking. You know what I'm like."

She nodded.

* * *

She looked at him quietly as he tied his shoelaces. He was so calm. She coulnd't understand how calm he could be about this. It was hardly normal what they were doing. 

He looked up and smiled at her.

"What's wrong?" he asked when he saw her serious frown.

"I- I'm not feeling too well. I feel..."

"Don't tell me you feel guilty. I never forced you into this. You chose this yourself."

"I know...it's just...It doesn't feel right, does it."

"But the way he treats you is?"

"He doesn't mean to...He doesn't have much choice" she whispered, hanging her head.

But she knew how little her words would persuade the man in front of her. She sighed and looked up when he rested his hands on her shoulders.

"Listen...he loves you and you're his girlsfriend, right? But you will always be my bluejay, my little bird. And my bluejay is trapped in this cage because of her boyfriend. Does _that_ seem right? Trapped in a cage?"

She shook her head. "...No..."

"And when you're with me, do you feel trapped _then_?"

"...No..." she hesitated. "...Maybe...I- I don't know."

She shrugged off his hands and walked to the window as she ran a hand through her hair, trying to get it to smooth down a little.

"I'm confused, okay? Just let me figure this out for myself."

"I'ts a little late to start thinking things over, Rinoa."

She hissed and bit her lip. "Don't."

"What? Don't what?"

"Don't be so hateful."

He sighed. "I'm sorry...When...when will I see you again?"

"Not too soon...I shouldn't have come today. It was wrong of me. He was so sweet today, he made me feel so special. I shouldn't have come."

She turned around and he could see she had tears in her eyes. He didn't try to stop her as she ran to the door, closing it behind her with a loud bang.

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	3. A Little Message

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.

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**- Chapter three: A Little Message -**

Squall watched her as she was sleeping in his arms. She looked so peaceful. Most people looked peaceful when asleep, but it touched him to see her like this because of her feeling of unease lately.

He blamed it on himself. He was never there, always busy...and then there were her own classes. She was studying so hard to become a SeeD like the rest of them. She said she didn't want to feel left behind anymore. She felt that becoming a SeeD was all that was left for her to do to become a complete part of the group.

He had told her that she was already completely part of the group, that she wasn't going to be left behind at all. But her mind had been set.

He tenderly caressed her face and she snuggled up closer to him, hiding her face in his shoulder in her sleep. She slowly opened her eyes and saw him looking at her.

"Hey..." she said sleepily.

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Sleep well?

She nodded. "Mmmm...yeah...I want to sleep some more."

He laughed softly. "I can imagine. You came in so late last night. Did your studying go well?"

She yawned and sat up, trying to avert her eyes. "Yeah..."

She got up and walked to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Squall laid on his back and closed his eyes. He listened to the sound of the shower, wondering what was wrong. She had come in late the night before, taken a shower and had crawled into bed without saying a word.

Perhaps she was nervous about her test today. It was theoretical exam, something she wasn't particulary good at. He made a mental note about buying her flowers.

'Forget-me-nots. Her favourites.' He thought.

The water had stopped pouring and Rinoa came out again, her hair dripping. He watched her pick out her clothes and change into them. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't think of something that would come out right.

She felt his eyes on her and turned around, smiling wamly at him. He smiled back. Suddenly she lurched forward and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close.

She pulled back and sighed contently. "I wish I could stay like this for the rest of the day..."

"So do I..." Squall replied. "But you've got a test today."

"I know...I'll see you later." She pecked his lips. "At lunch?"

"I'll pick you up at the classroom. What time are you done?"

She thought for a moment. "...Round noon. I'll see you then."

She gave him another kiss before leaving. She closed the door softly and leaned against it for a moment, closing her eyes. She heard the shower turn on again. She shook her head and walked on to the classroom.

It was still empty and she was thankful for that. Now she had some time to try and give everything a place in her mind. She had been with him last night...again. It had been good. Being with him always made her feel cared for.

But then this morning...Squall loved her so much and she knew that. She loved him too. But perhaps he really was her cage. Perhaps she needed to escape him for her own good, even though _now_ she felt happy with him.

She let out a loud aggrivated sigh. It was all too confusing. She couldn't even remember when it had all started.

She turned on the computer on her desk and logged in. She looked at the forum, but there were no new messages for her. Thank Hyne. She couldn't use another message from him right now.

She tried to log off but her eyes noticed a small message at the bottom of the screen. Her heart skipped a beat unpleasantly.

'Doublecrosser' 

It did not say who had sent it, it did not say who it was for. Just that one word. Doublecrosser. She switched off the computer, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

She shook her head. It could have been meant for anyone. She didn't even know what it was about, so why worry so much.

A pair of hands on her shoulders made her look up. He massaged her neck gently, sending a wave of calmness down her spine.

"Why so tense, bluejay? You can't be this stressed about a test."

"It's nothing...just nerves."

He leaned closer until his lips nearly touched her ear. "I want to see you after the test."

She tried to calm the tingling sensation that washed over her for a moment. "I- I can't. Squall will be waiting for me."

The hands on her shoulders stopped. "Ah, yes. Squall."

She sighed and stood up.

"You always knew he would be there." She hissed. "You always knew about my obli-...My feelings for him. You knew that right from the start. So don't you come complaining now."

He looked at her angrily. "Yes, I knew. But I didn't expect to come second _every_ time mister boyfriend was available. I'm not just a toy, okay? I'm not something you can use as a back-up plan only."

"That's how we started, remember? Because you and I were both lonely. No...wait...because _I_ was lonely. You just needed to get your action."

"That was a long time ago! It changed, okay? My feelings changed. I'm not treating you like something I use just to satisfy my needs. I do actually have feelings for you! But perhaps you don't share those feelings with me. Perhaps I really am just a toy to keep you busy."

She stared at him, not quite knowing what to say. She felt so angry with him right now.

"How dare you." She hissed. "If that is what you think then obviously you don't know me. You think this is all just a game? I have feelings for you too and you know it. Otherwise I wouldn't come back to you every time, now would I? Just face it, Irvine. I love you _and_ I love Squall. Things are complicated enough without us arguing."

He stepped back. "...Fine. Perhaps you're right. It's not easy. Not for you and not for me. Can we just forget about this?"

She felt her head nod. Yes, she wanted to forget. In all honesty, she wanted to forget a lot of things. But right now she'd settle for this.

"So..." he said after a while. "No lunch then."

"No..."

"How about dinner?"

"...Not tonight. I can't. Tomorrow perhaps. After dinner."

He nodded. "Sounds good..."

He quickly bent forward and kissed her softly, ignoring her little surprised whimper.

"Good luck on your test."

"You too." She whispered as the classroom door suddenly opened to let in other students.

Everyone sat down and waited for the instructor to come in. He glared at his students over the top of his glasses. He had high hopes for this class, especially because most students looked up to two of their classmates who had fought in the war against the sorceresses, and wanted to grow to their level. On the other hand, those two were starting to slack off and they weren't as good as they used to be.

"Right." He said. "Today you will take the theoretical exam. Those of you who pass may take the field exam next week. Those of you who fail will be forced to wait another period. I wish you all the best of luck."

Rinoa looked at Irvine quickly before bending back down over her test. The test itself was easy. She had seen enough battles to be able to answer the questions. She looked at the clock patiently and filled in the answers one by one, feeling quite calm.

But her head was still so confused. Squall would be waiting for her once the test was over. But somewhere in her mind she knew that she wanted to spend more time with Irvine too. Sometimes she felt that Irvine was all she needed but then an image of her and Squall would jump to mind, casting Irvine far into the background.

She couldn't figure out who meant more to her. She let out a loud, agrivated sigh, earning herself a lot of angry stares from the other students. She smiled apologetically and they returned to their tests. She watched the time crawl on, keeping one eye on the clock.

She waited until the rest was done. She could feel Irvine's eyes on her, but decided to ignore him. At the moment she didn't want to look at him. Shaking her head, she let her hair ripple gently. She rested her head on her hand and tried to imagine what it would be like if she could just dash into Squall's arms when class was over.

'...Why _shouldn't_ I be able to do that.' She though. 'It's not as if it would be unfair to Irvine...he knew from the beginning I really love Squall.'

But she knew that she had allowed something physical to turn into real emotions, something that never should have happened.

The instructor stood up, ready to collect their tests. Rinoa stood up with the others and handed in her answer sheet as she passed the instructor's table. She could hear a few girls who were already outside giggle. She heard them mention her name too.

When she left the classroom she saw what they had thought was so funny. Squall was leaning against the wall opposite the classroom door with a beautiful bouquet of forget-me-nots, looking a bit uncomfortable because of this attention from her classmates. She smiled warmly and rushed forward, planting kisses all over his face. She laughed when he pushed her off gently, looking at her with surprise.

"What happened? I haven't seen you this...happy in a while."

She kissed him again and nuzzled his neck. "Nothing. I just realised how much I missed you and how much I love you."

He hugged her. "Missed me? You only had once class since you saw me last."

"Yeah, I know. But I was done real soon so I had all that time left to think about you and long for you."

He laughed and took her hand.

"How 'bout you and I go out for a meal and a movie?" he said as they reached the Main Hall.

"Sounds good to me. But let me put these in water first." She said, pointing at the flowers. "And I need to feed Angelo too."

She skipped away and started to run as soon as she was out of sight. She felt so happy all of a sudden. And she realised she only needed Squall's love and attention to be content.

She rushed into her tiny kitchen, plucked a vase from a cabinet and filled it with water. Before letting the flowers rest in it, she smiled at them. She loved that scent. Forget-me-nots really were her favourites.

She took a can of dogfood and emptied it into Angelo's tray. He barked at her thankfully. She hugged her pet tightly.

"You know...I think everything's going to turn out perfectly fine. Squall's really been spending all this time with me and that's all I ever wanted. I love him so much. I really don't need Irvine at all. He'll just have to accept that."

Then she quickly ran out the door to meet Squall, who was waiting for her patiently.

* * *

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	4. Bluejay

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.

* * *

**- Chapter four: Bluejay -**

"Mmm...that was delicious." She said again as they reached the movie theatre in Balamb. "Really delicious."

Squall laughed. "It must've been, if you can't stop saying that."

He handn't felt so relieved in a long time. He walked up to the counter and asked for two tickets. He turned around to smile at her while the boy behind the counter printed out the tickets. Just as he was about to reach for his wallet, his pager beeped.

He cursed under his breath. 'Not now...not today.'

But Rinoa had already heard it. "It's okay, Squall. Answer it."

He sighed apologetically at her soft smile and answered the call. It was Cid.

'Who else.' He thought.

"This is Squall...yes...I understand, but-...no, no of course not. I see..Yes, I'll be there as soon as possible...yes, sir."

He pressed the call away viciously and stuffed it back in his pocket.

"I'm really sorry." He said. "I should have switched it off again."

She shook her head. "No, don't apologise. I know this is your job. Besides, I had a wonderful day already."

"It's just that I had hoped to see more of you today...I wanted to make today special. Because of your test and all...and because I want to show you just how much I love you."

She hugged him. "Sweetheart, I _know_ you love me."

"I wanted to show you, that's all. I know I've been too busy with work lately. But the damned treaty negotiations with Esthar are going terribly slow."

He kissed her forehead. She smiled warmly and hugged him even tighter.

"I'm here for you. Always."

She pulled out of the hug and looked into his eyes. "I know. And that's why I love you so much. You know what? Make sure you're done early tonight and then you and I can think of something to do."

"Sounds good to me." He replied with a wink. "But I have to go now. You can still see the movie, if you want to."

"To watch it by myself? No, I'll walk back with you and amuse myself till you're done. I can always play with Angelo or get some drawing done."

She took his arm and they headed towards Garden again.

"That reminds me. I need to get that drawing back from Selphie."

"What drawing?" Rinoa asked.

"Oh, just something someone pasted on the wall. Nothing special. But it's evidence, apparently, and Selphie's using it as source for her inspiration for her Festival Surprise." He explained.

Rinoa giggled. "Don't worry. I'll get it for you. How does that sound?"

He placed his arm around her shoulder. "That sounds great. Thank you."

She smiled to herself. She loved walking with him like this. They reached the Garden entrance too soon for her liking but she let go of Squall's arm to allow him to go up to his meeting with Cid. He left reluctantly after placing a big kiss in her neck.

When he was out of sight, she sauntered down to the Quad, down the steps and up to the stage. Selphie was in the middle of a large wooden structure that reminded her of a prison. She waited until Selphie had seen her before she walked over to her.

"Hey...what's this supposed to be?" Rinoa asked curiously.

"I can't tell you that, it'd spoil the surprise." Selphie replied as articulate as she could with four nails clenched between her lips.

Rinoa couldn't help giggling. "Perhaps you're right."

She touched the wooden beams with her hand.

"Oh, Selphie, Squall said you had a drawing he needed. Said you used it as a source of inspiration...? But he needs it back, so..."

Selphie turned around and pouted. "Does he really need it that bad? I'm not done with it yet."

Rinoa nodded. "Sorry, yes he does."

"Hmmm...if he really needs it...I suppose..."

She reached into her bag and handed Rinoa a sheet of paper.

"I still think it's really nice. The person who drew this had talent." Selphie said.

Rinoa looked at the paper. She blinked.

"Y- yeah, it's nice." She stammered.

"What kind of bird do you think it is?" Selphie wondered. "First I thought it was a sparrow...but then again I know nothing about ornithology. Quistis though it-"

"It's a bluejay..."

"Oh..."

Rinoa stared at the paper. It was a little bluejay, sitting in a cage. You could see the fright and the sadness in its eyes, in its stance.

"But why..." she wondered quietly.

It was locked up in a cage...She felt a hand close around her heart for a moment. Why did she feel so...so lonely all of a sudden?

_"My bluejay is trapped in this cage because of her boyfriend. Does that seem right? Trapped in a cage?"_ she heard his voice in her head.

But why would this be meant for her. It was only a drawing, it had nothing to do with her. Nothing at all. Then why did she feel so guilty all of a sudden? Guilty, cold and alone.

She knew what Irvine had meant with 'cage'. She was always waiting for Squall to come to her, only then did she feel free. But when he wans't there...she felt confined.

Only Irvine understood. He was the only person apart from Squall who could make her feel free.

'No! Don't think about him.' She thought angrily.

She wanted to be with Squall. They would do something romantic together tonight, she and Squall. But while her mind seemed to be so obviously made up, her feet had already guided her away from Selphie, out the Quad, towards the door she didn't want to visit.

She didn't want to, but she needed to. That drawing had turned her cold and only Irvine was available to warm her up now. Her hand knocked on the door. It opened. Irvine smirked.

"Come to visit me? Where's Squall? In the infirmary, recovering from your kiss-attack outside the 2F classroom no doubt."

She gave him a cold stare.

"Don't, okay?" she said harshly. "Now are you going to let me in or not."

* * *

"What time is it?"

"Nearly five p.m...Why?"

"Just wondered. That's all."

"...Oh."

"When does Selphie get back?"

"She's eating with some people from her committee tonight. They're planning something big and need to sort it out." Irvine replied lazily.

He sat up, leaning on his elbows and looked at her. She avoided looking into his eyes and looked at the ceiling. He traced her bare shoulder with a finger, hoping she'd respond. Her eyes fluttered to his for a moment. He was still looking at her. She rolled over on her side.

"Why do you always do that?" she asked.

"Do what?"

"Look. You always sit up and look at me after we've...you know..."

"Do I?" he wondered.

"Yes, you do it every time."

"Hmmm...perhaps I just like seeing you. Or perhaps I need to make sure it wasn't a dream."

"So now I'm a bird and a dream?"

He laughed. "Can't really say. You can't be both...because a dream is something you can't catch while a bird is easily cought and locked away. I can't really decide what fits you better."

He smiled and caressed her arm. She rolled on her back and stared at the ceiling again.

"...Perhaps I am both. Sometimes I feel...locked up. Other times I feel so unrealy. It's confusing. I don't know what I want and what I don't want anymore."

He sat up straight. "But you know you want me, right?"

She sighed and sat up too, casting the sheet aside and searching for her clothes on the floor. "I really don't know, okay? I started to ask myself questions about my feelings and lately everything's a blur."

He stood up and put on his shirt.

"I feel...caged up."

"That's what Squall does to you. You think you love him, but he's either smothering you or starving you. That's not good for you, Rinoa."

She buttoned up her shirt and reached for her blue vest. "...I...I suppose you're..."

"Right. Yes, I know. I know because I see you with him and you're always confused then. But when you're with me you unwind. You feel better around me, don't you?"

She nodded slowly, perhaps even reluctantly. "I suppose that's true...Look, I need to go..."

He watched her slide her gloves over her arms.

"Squall will be home soon. And I need to take a shower."

She knew he hung his head, but she didn't look at him again as she left the room.

She felt guilty. Not about what she had just done with Irvine, but for returning to her dorm without regrets. She walked slowly, trying to stretch the time.

When she reached it, she opened the door and walked inside. She wanted to throw her keys down on the table when something caught her eye. There was a little scrap of white paper on the floor. It looked like someone had shoved it under the door.

Curiously she bent down and picked it up. She dropped it with a muffled cry when she registered the message it carried.

_'I know what you do. Doublecrosser.'_

* * *

* * *


	5. Doublecrosser

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.

* * *

**- Chapter five: Doublecrosser -**

She looked around wildly. Where had the note come from? Someone had shoved it through the little gap between the door and the floor, she was sure of that. It was the only way she could think of. But who? And the message...someone knew about her and Irvine. She suddenly realised someone else knew her secret.

But it could be _anyone_.

She tore the paper into tiny pieces and dumped it in the bin. She shivered and quickly locked the door as if she was afraid the one who had written the note would come in. She stepped into the shower and let the water fall down on her head.

Usually this soothed her, making her feel clean and free of guilt. But now she could only think about the note.

'_I know what you do. Doublecrosser.'_ She shivered again.

Doublecrosser.

Suddenly she opened her eyes with shock. Doublecrosser. Hadn't that been the same word in that anynomous post on the Garden online forum?

A chill seared through her body. Was someone after her? Was someone stalking her? Someone had definitely been watching her, how else could anyone have known. She felt small and alone. Unsafe. As if someone was watching her right now.

Quickly she turned off the water and wrapped herself in towl. She dried her hair in front of the mirror and studied her face. Her eyes were frightened, just like the bird's in the drawing, she realised. She shook her head violently, not wanting to think about the drawing. It resembled a bluejay too much for her liking.

The bang of the door closing loudly made her jump. She listened closely to the bathroom door. Someone was in their dorm.

"...Squall?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah, it's me. Were you expecting someone else?" he joked.

She let out a relieved sigh. Hearing his voice was good. She felt safe again. She opened the bathroom door and stepped out. He looked up.

"Woah...for me?" he said as he looked at her.

She suddenly realised she was dressed in just a towl. She blushed and looked at the floor.

"Maybe." She said, smiling playfully. "Or perhaps I just _love_ showering."

He laughed as he took off his jacket and threw it over the back of a chair. "That _does _seem to be on your fabourites list lately. You take a shower every time I see you."

"...Just wanting to stay clean." She said slowly.

He smiled and ran a hand through his hair before stepping up closer to her. His hands rested on her bare shoulders and his head leaned against hers softly.

She heard him take in her scent, his fingers traced up her neck and she closed her eyes as she felt the hairs at the back of her neck stand up straight. Their lips met and she kissed him hungrily.

'_Doublecrosser.'_ It shot through her head as Squall pulled her down onto the bed.

She stiffened.

'_Doublecrosser.'_

She wanted to pull away from Squall, but he didn't notice her reluctance. She raised her hand and caressed his face. Then she felt a sudden urge of pity. He had no idea. He loved her so much and she betrayed his trust so bitterly.

She didn't deserve his love even if she really wanted it. She should have stood up and walked away, she should have pushed him away in order to protect him from her. But she knew she wanted to be with him now, no matter what.

She wanted to kiss him and hold him. She wanted his affection. Ignoring all that, she leaned in to kiss him again, though her eyes were starting to burn with tears. She needed him.

* * *

"...Are you sure it's safe? I mean, look at it." Zell said as he gave the giant bird cage on the stage a suspicious glance.

But Selphie ignored him and shooed him out of the way. He leaned back and made some room for people to pass. The girl who was supposed to be placed inside the cage eyed it with a similar look of suspicion while tugging at her blue skirt nervously.

"Selphie..." she said reluctantly. "I'm not really sure I want to get up there..."

"Oh, nonsense." Selphie said reasuringly. "It's really quite safe."

"_Quite_ safe? Not _really_ safe? And it's so high!" the girl sighed.

"Naina, you did audition for this out of your own free will. A lot of other dancers are jealous, you know."

"I _know_ I auditioned for it. But that was _before_ I knew you were going to dress me up like a bird and put me in a cage at least twenty feet high!"

Selphie stared at her sternly. "You're not going to quit, are you? We need you, you're the lead dancer!"

Naina sighed and hung her head. "I know...it's just so high..."

She gave Zell a hopeful glance, trying to persuade him to help her, but Zell shook his head. He knew better than to get in the way of Selphie and her festival.

With a loud, resigned sigh, Naina climbed inside the cage, ready to have herself hoisted up to a hight that made her feel dizzy even when she was just thinking about it. She silently envied the other dancers who would be allowed to dance with their feet in contact with solid ground. This wasn't what she had bargained for.

A boy from the tech-squad secured her to some elastic ropes. She sat down on the trapeze and heard herself give the techie the okay to hoist her up.

"Selphie...you know that if she falls, _you'll_ be held responsible..."

Selphie sat down next to him. "I know. That's why I made sure her costume can be hooked up to safety lines. I don't want to kill her, you know."

Zell chuckled. "I suppose so. When do you think this will be ready for the whole of Garden to see?"

She shrugged. "Hmmm, not quite sure yet. But we'll be able to advertise soon. So keep an eye out for our posters. Entry is only fifteen gil."

Zell pretended to be surprised. "Fifteen gil? What, no free tickets for your friends?'

Selphie hit his arm playfully. "Hey, this whole construction costs a lot, you know. And Cid doesn't pay for everything. Besides, you can afford fifteen gil, can't you."

"Of course I can." He said soothingly.

Selphie smiled and stared at Naina when the music started. Zell watched the girl in the air absentmindedly. His thoughts were not focussed. He wondered why Selphie had chosen this cage to be her décor, to be the centre of this theme. Was it an example of how she felt herself? Or was is just a coincidence, perhaps this idea was nothing more than inspiration and it had no meaning behind it.

He looked up when Selphie got to her feet to talk to the girl who was in charge of the lighting scheme. He, too, got to his feet and decided he was going to grab a bite at the cafeteria.

"I'll be right back." He said

Selphie nodded. "See you later, then."

Zell walked up the stairs and took the long route to the cafeteria. He wanted to walk for a bit, to clear his head. He halted when he reached the main hall. A few people were gathered at one of the walls, they seemed to be reading something.

Curious, he walked over to them. They dispersed, except for Quistis, who was there as well. There was a poster on the wall with some text on it. The title read _'Adventures of a Songbird'_.

He looked at Quistis. "What's this?"

She shrugged. "Someone pasted it on the wall. It's a story of some sort. Or at least the beginning of one. I don't understand what it's for, though."

Zell leaned in to read it.

'This story is about a little bluejay, caught in a cage. She has been tangled up in a web of her own adventures. The purpose of this story to tell everyone about her antics and her deeds so that everyone will know not to trust this innocent little songbird for what she appears to be.'

"Well, that doesn't make any sense." He said, raising his eyebrow.

Quistis nodded. "I know. And I have to take care of this because Squall doesn't think he should be bothered by stuff like this. He doesn't care that our strict policy against littering and poluting, which includes posting random things on walls without permission, has been violated more than once over the last few days. We never had any problems like this before. Cid reckons there's more to it than meets the eye. But Squall doesn't want to be bothered by this. So now I get to go on stake-out duty."

She let out a sigh.

"I was trained to be a fighter, not a hallmoniter who hands out detentions and passes to let you go to the toilet."

Zell placed an arm around her shoulders. "I feel sorry for you...I can understand how you must feel. Any idea why he gave you this thing to do? Can't you delegate it on to someone else?"

She shook her head.

"That sucks...tell you what. Why don't you come with me to eat something and we'll talk some more about it."

Quistis laughed. "Good idea. My stomach's been growling for ages. And yours has been too, by the sound of it."

They walked away, leaving the poster on the wall where it had been placed. Suddenly they noticed more of them. They seemed to have been pasted over every wall every so often. And every one of them had attracted a few students, trying to read it over their mate's head.

"It's uncanny. It looks like some sort of sect." Zell whispered jokingly.

Quistis didn't respond. She eyed the students suspicously.

* * *

Rinoa closed the door behind her. Squall was still asleep. She tied her hair into a ponytail and watched her wet hair drip little patches of water on the floor. She walked to the door, not wanting to wake Squall. It was still early in the morning but she needed to get out and breathe some fresh air.

Last night had been horrible. He had been so loving and yet her mind had been with Irvine all the time. She remembered that she had wished she could sink through a hole in the ground.

She shivered a little and pulled up her gloves a little higher. A long time ago she had felt lonely because Squall hadn't had time for her. But now she felt alone because both he and Irvine had too much time for her.

She rubbed her stomach when it grumbled and headed to the cafeteria. She barely noticed the white posters on the walls during her walk. Only when she wanted to enter the cafeteria and she saw one on the door did she realise it was there. Curious, she leaned in and read it.

Her eyes grew wide. She ripped it from the door and tore it up frantically. She looked around wildly to see if anyone had seen her but there was no one there. She turned around and ran to the main hall.

She let out a yelp as she noticed more of them all around her. Someone had been watching her. She realised she had been right about that after she had received the note. She knew someone had been watching her.

The drawing, the note, these posters...she had been followed.

* * *

* * *


	6. Soft Whisperings

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.

* * *

**- Chapter six: Soft Whisperings -**

Selphie let out a loud yawn as she slumped over the table. Irvine laughed and pulled her into a hug. She smiled lazily. Quistis came through the doors and seated herself at their table.

"Good morning." She said.

Selphie and Irvine greeted back.

"So, Selphie...how's your festival idea coming along?" she asked casually.

"Oh, alright. Things are starting to fall into place. We're on schedual."

Quistis leaned back in her chair and picked at her nails. "Does 'on schedual' also mean sticking posters for the show all over the Garden walls?"

Selphie looked up. "Posters? We haven't even designed them yet..."

"So this isn't yours?" Quistis asked, shoving one of the white posters towards them across the table.

Selphie looked at it and read it.

"The Adventures of a Songbird." She read out loud. "Quistis, this ins't ours. Our show isn't called that. What _is_ this?"

Quistis sighed and shrugged. "I was hoping you could tell me. We found them all over Garden. I thought I'd ask you if this was yours before we'd start tearing them all down."

"Sory Quistis, but it's not ours. We'd never post advertising without Cid's permission."

Quistis hung her head. "Guess I really will have to go on stake-out duty tonight then. Squall won't be bothered to help, he'll say I was appointed for this so I'm on my own."

"Why don't you put someone else on stake-out?" Irvine asked.

Quistis laughed emptily. "If I did that, then that someone would appoint someone else too, and _he'd_ also appoint someone else and we'd never get anywehere at all. No, I have to take my responsability even if Squall won't."

She stood up an stuffed the paper back in her pocket.

"Well, I'd best be off."

She said goodbye and walked towards the doors. Irvine watched her leave. He leaned towards Selphie and kissed her.

"Why don't you go get us some ice creams. I've just got to ask Quistis something."

Selphie stood up and Irvine quickly followed Quistis.

"Quistis, wait up!"

She turned around. "What?"

"I, eh...I was wondering if I could see that paper again..."

"Oh, sure." She gave it to him and rubbed her sleepy eyes, trying to stay awake as well as she could.

He took it and started to read slowly.

"This story is about a little bluejay." He said quietly.

He read it, his face in a wondrous expression. Quistis wondered why he was so quiet all of a sudden. He clenched it in his hand when he was done.

"So you're really going on a stake-out tonight." He asked.

She nodded. "Yes, it's the only thing I can think of. And Cid is really pressing us to find out who posted it. I don't know why, but he thinks there could be someone trying to get a statement across and he doesn't want to let it get out of hand."

"But it's not really something bad, is it? Why is he so gung-ho on catching the one who posted it? It's just a story."

"I know that it's not that bad. But Cid wants this done. And besides, this guy is littering our Garden with this crap, even though we have a strict policy on that. If we let one person do it, soon everyone will be wanting to vent his opinion on our walls. We have to stop it here."

Irvine nodded slowly. "I suppose that sounds reasonable. You're right. Of course you are. Well, I'd best go, Selphie's waiting for me. Good luck!"

Quistis smiled. "Thanks."

Irvine gave the paper back, but Quistis shook her head.

"I don't need it back. Just throw it in a bin when you pass."

Irvine watched her turn around and leave. He waited until she had turned the corner before he read it again.

'_She has been tangled up in a web of her own adventures.'_

Somehow this seemed to ring a bell. The sound of those words was familiar to him, as if he had said the same thing once himself. The he remembered that he _had_ said something like it.

He had said Squall was Rinoa's prison, her cage. But how could anyone have known? It wasn't as if they had spoken to each other in public. They always kept their distance when others were around.

He looked at the paper again. Why was he so convinced this was about her, about them, anyway? It could be a coincidence, couldn't it? He started when someone touched his hand. He looked at her.

"Rinoa..."

"I'm...scared."

Her eyes were red and puffy, as if she had been crying.

"Rinoa, what's wrong?"

She let go of his hand and stared at the paper in his hand. "You've read it too, haven't you? Someone's watching us. Someone knows."

"It's just someone's imagination. Don't think about it too much."

But Rinoa couldn't understand how calm he appeared to be about it. "I found a drawing of a bluejay, okay? Selphie showed it to me. And someone pushed a note under my door, calling me a doublecrosser! I'm not making this up, I'm not paranoid. Someone knows about us and doesn't like it! I'm scared."

He took her hands. "Don't be. Quistis or the Disciplinary Committee will find the nutter and then it'll stop. Just...I don't know...Imagine flying away with me. Stretch out those wings of yours and leave all this behind, you're a bluejay after all. No more worries or Squall...just imagine that you can go somewhere far away. Perhaps that will make you feel better."

She lokoed at their hands. Perhaps she would feel better if she imagined all that, if she thought of being away with him somewhere where nothing could bother them. She pulled her hands back from his and quickly pecked his cheek.

"I want to see you tonight." She whispered. "Secret Area?"

He nodded. "I'll be there after dinner. About...eleven?"

"Okay." She took a step back. "See you then."

She walked away, leaving Irvine at the entrance of the cafeteria. He turned around and went back inside to find Selphie. She was sitting at their table with two ice cream cones in her hands.

"Hurry up! They're melting!" she said cheerfully.

Irvine smiled and quickly took the seat next to her, giving her a kiss in her neck before taking his ice cream cone."

* * *

Rinoa paced around the Secret Area. Irvine still wasn't there yet and he was late. Half an hour late. Ever time she heard footsteps she froze, but there were still some other students doing some last minute practice. Some of them would go on their very first mission soon.

Finally the door opened to reveal Irvine. He was breathing loudly, as if he had been hasting to get there.

"I'm sorry I'm late." He whispered. "But Selphie came to my room and I couldn't get her to leave before now."

"It's okay." Rinoa whispered back. "I just needed to see you again. Please...hold me."

She stepped closer to him and felt his arms embrace her. This was good. This was where she needed to be right now. Irvine kissed the top of her head.

"You're so tense...is this still getting to you?"

She didn't respond. Instead she placed her ear over his heart and listened to the soothing rythmn for a while. Then she looked up.

"Irvine? About what you said today...Could we really just go? You and me?"

He didn't look at her, even though she had really surprised him. He pondered a few moments before answering.

"Would you really want to?" he asked. "Would you be able to leave Squall and Garden behind? Would you be able to do that?"

She was silent.

"No." He anwered for her. "You wouldn't be able to. You still love him too much."

She knew he was right. She loved Squall. But she loved Irvine too. Wouldn't she be able to give up Squall to be happy with Irvine?

"I have to go." Irvine said suddenly.

"What? Why? You just got here!"

"Rinoa, as long as Squall is in the picture, you'll never be mine completely. Yet you fill me with hope that you want to be mine alone. How do you think that makes me feel?"

"Confused..."

"...Yes. And I'm going mad because of my love for you. I can't take this today, not now. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Irvine...I do love you! I want you to know that I do really love you."

He smiled softly. "I know, I know you do. But tonight's not the best time. For both us. That story shook me up too, you know."

He turned around and wanted to walk away.

"Wait!" Rinoa called after him. "Before you go...will you at least give me one kiss? I've been longing for you all day..."

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her. As soon as his mouth touched hers, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her. He held her tight and then he picked her up in his arms and set her on the ground.

He slowly pushed her back on the ground, even though his mind had been set on leaving a few seconds ago. Rinoa grabbed his collar and pulled him down with her.

Suddely he let go. "...No..."

She sighed.

"No, not now."

"Irvine..."

"...Not now and not here."

She closed her eyes for a second and stod up. "Fine. Not now."

She straightened her vest and left, leaving a confused Irvine behind in the middle of the Secreat Area.

Most of the lights were out in the Training Centre. There were just a few lamps turned on for safety. She walked down the path and passed the drawpoint there, when she suddenly heard a soft mutter from somewhere.

She turned around, expecting to see Irvine behind her, but there was no one there. She looked around but she was completely alone. The muttering stopped.

After standing still for a few moments, casting nervous glances around her, she continued her way out the Training Centre.

When she reached the door, she heard that same soft muttering again. She snapped around, casting another scared look around. Was there someone hiding behind a tree? Another whisper suddenly seemed to come from the other side.

She snapped around again, but still she couldn't see anyone. She felt very small and alone in this darkness all of a sudden and she was fighting the urge to scream.

But instead she used her feet and ran as fast as they would take her, leaving these whispers as far behind her as she could.

* * *

* * *


	7. A Photograph

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.

* * *

**- Chapter seven: A Photograph -**

"Can you believe it? Another one and no one saw anything even though there were people watching." Quistis sighed exasperatedly.

The others stared at her.

"What do you mean?" Squall asked as he put his arm around Rinoa's waist.

Quistis threw a piece of paper on the table. Everyone bent forward to read it.

"We were discussing where to hold the stake-out last night. Next thing we know new posters were scattered all over."

Selphie pulled the paper towards her and read it. Irvine read over her shoulder. He went pale.

"And no one saw a thing?" Selphie asked as she passed it on to Squall and Rinoa.

Squall didn't bother reading it and looked at Quistis instead. "You were in the hall and still didn't see who did it?"

"If you think you can do better, then I'm not stopping you." Quistis snapped. "You're the one in charge of this Garden but you redirect everything on to others so you don't have to do a thing!"

"Now stop right there!" he said angrily.

Rinoa stopped listening to their arguement and focussed her attention on the paper. She somehow dreaded to read it, but she also found it had an inexplicable attraction to it. Her eyes glided over the page, slowly growing wider with fear.

'_A little bluejay in a cage, waiting for true love to free her. Isn't this a sad sight? That's what a boy outside her cage thought too. He didn't know how she had come to be there. A long time ago she had seen an open cage. It had everything she had ever wanted. She had known she would be safe there. It would protect her from the evil things in the garden around her._

_So she flew inside and settled down. After seeing that she felt safe in it, she decided to close the door so she would be even safer. When she had closed it, it fell into a lock. But she didn't care at the time. Yet now she began to doubt her decision and asked the little boy for help._

_"Please, free me." She chirrupped._

_"No, not now." Said the boy. "You still love your cage too much. Your love binds you to it. But perhaps you'll feel free if you imagine flying away. Stretch out those wings of yours and leave all this behind. No more worries, no more cage...perhaps that will make you feel better."_

_And the boy turned to leave the little bluejay on her own. Alone in her invisable cage.'_

"It doesn't really make sense, does it." Selphie said dismissively.

Rinoa, however, felt a chill run down her spine. These words were far too familiar for her liking. She felt someone's eyes on her and looked up to meet them. Irvine looked straight at her. She suddenly realised that he had recognised these words too. After all, they had been his.

She stood up hastily, knocking over her glass.

"Look out, Rinoa." Quistis said irritably as she caught the glass before it fell to the ground.

"Hey, are you alright?" Squall asked curiously when he saw her pale face.

"I- I'm...a little tired. I think I'll go have a lie down."

They watched her leave in silence.

"She didn't seem okay to me." Selphie said quietly. "If you ask me she was a little pale."

"I'll go see if she's okay." Irvine said as he stood up.

"No, I'll go." Squall said, standing up a little quicker. "I'll see you guys later."

Irvine gave him a nasty glance, but the others didnt notice.

"Irvine, why did you do that?" Selphie asked curiously.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"You know...offer to go check on her. Squall's her boyfriend, you kow. You've insulted him now." She said.

"What? I was just worried. She's my friend."

"But I think he took it the wrong way. I think that he thinks that he spends too little time with her now and you just stressed that by going to check faster than he did."

"That sounds way to far fetched...if he does really think like that, then that's his problem, not mine. If he feels guilty then perhaps he has a reason for it. I'm hungry, you guys want anything?" he said briskly.

Quistis and Selphie shook their heads. He stood up and walked away. He had nearly betrayed himself but somehow he didn't care. He knew why Rinoa felt ill, Squall didn't. But then again, perhaps it was better if he didn't go to her now.

The words on that piece of paper had scared him too. He had recognised them right away and now he started to feel the same fear Rinoa had described to him. Someone had been watching them, that was the only explanation for what was going on.

* * *

She paced the room. It had happened again. Someone had been watching them and had listened to their words. Someone...but they had been alone in the hall the day before, hadn't they? There had been no one else, just like last night in the Training Centre.

She shuddered at the thought of those voices again.

The door behind her opened and she snapped around. Squall gave her a strange look.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine." She lied. "Just a little tired."

He hugged her. "If you feel so tired you should get some sleep."

She smiled. "I know. I thought I'd lie down, that'll do me good."

She sat down on the bed and Squall followed her.

"You know." He said softly as he leaned in a little closer. "I could keep you company if you like."

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her neck. She closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to see him. He trailed a path up her neck, up to her cheek and then kissed her mouth. She didn't respond, but he didn't notice or he didn't care.

Slowly he pushed her down on the bed and continued to kiss her. She tried to let him without feeling disgusted, but she couldn't. She sat up, pushing him away.

"I'm sorry...I just..." she whispered. "I don't feel okay. I'm tired..."

He stood up. "Sorry...I just thought- Sorry."

"Squall..." she took his hand and looked at him. "Don't feel sorry. I'm just a bit tired. Perhaps I'm coming down with something. So, not now. But perhaps tonight?"

Squall smiled. "You know what, we'll see then. You just get some rest first. How 'bout I make you a cup of tea and you snuggle up in bed with a good book and Angelo next to you."

"That would be wonderfull." She said. "You really are the sweetest person."

He blew her a kiss and disappeared behind a corner to fix her a cup of tea. Rinoa looked around for a book to read. She called out Angelo's name and he came trotting in. She patted the empty spot on the bed next to her and Angelo jumped up, snuggling his nose on Squall's pillow. She tried to make herself remember to wash that before they'd go to bed that night.

She hugged Angelo, pushing her face into his fur. He made a content sound and she scratched him behind his ears. Squall came back ang handed her a mug.

"I'll go back to the others now. Drink up and rest a little. You'll feel better in no time."

She smiled. "Come here."

She stretched out her hand and he took it. She pulled him a little closer and kissed him softly. He smiled and pulled back.

"I'll see you soon."

She listened to the door close and then fell back down on the bed. But she sat straight back up again, feeling restless. She sat down on her knees in front of her bedside table and the draw, rummaging through it.

She pushed aside the photographs of her and Squall and finally let out a loud sigh when she couldn't find what she was looking for. She stood up and ran to the desk and rummaged through the papers on top. Finally she found that drawing of the little blue bird.

She held it up before her eyes to look at it when she suddenly felt a little dizzy. She dropped the drawing and reached for her head as everything went white before her eyes. She barely even noticed falling to the floor.

* * *

"Why are you so restless?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe it's the heat."

"Are you sure? Because you keep figgeting. It's kinda making me nervous."

"Look, will you stop it? I'm fine." He snapped.

He watched her bright green eyes become teary and her bottom lip trembled. He sighed and looked away.

"...Selphie...don't."

"Why are you so mean to me..." she whispered quietly. "I never meant to do anything wrong."

"Selphie, I'm sorry...I shouldn't have-"

He tried to put his arm around her but she stood up and backed away.

"No, not his time, Irvine Kinneas. Every time you upset me you try to charm your way out of the ugly situation. But not this time! This time you'd better make an effort to appologise because you do this every time!"

He was surprised by her outburst. Normally he could just be his charming self and calm her down like that.

"Sefie...baby, come on..." he tried.

But she snapped around and stomped away. He raised his hand to his head and watched her as she went back inside Garden.

'Damn...' he thought.

Now he had another crisis on his hands. First Rinoa and now Selphie. He shook his head and went inside too. He knew it would be a very bad idea to follow Selphie to her room. In this state, he didn't know how she would react.

'Right...what now?'

He tried to remember what Squall did to make up with Rinoa. Most of the times he'd take her to a restaurant and bring her flowers. Quickly he made his way to his own room to make reservations at Balambs most expensive, and only, restaurant.

Satisfied with this swift way of handling the situation, he decided to visit Rinoa quickly before going out to buy Selphie flowers. He made sure the corridor was empty when he knocked on the door. He didn't want to be seen.

There was no answer. He kocked again. While waiting for Rinoa to answer the door, he looked around again. There was still no one else in the corridor, but still no answer came either.

"Rinoa?" he called. "Rinoa, are you there?"

When still no answer came, he decided to leave. She had probably gone to be with Squall somewhere, he thought bitterly.

But as he wanted to turn away from the door, he noticed that it wasn't closed properly. That meant it wasn't locked either! He grabbed the door handle and wanted to pull it shut. But the temptation to take a quick look inside made him open it instead. He looked around once more and then, very quickly, dove inside.

As he scanned the room, he saw pictures of Squall and Rinoa all over the walls. Angelo's basket was empty beside the couch.

'That's odd.' He thought.

He remembered Rinoa telling him that Angelo would be in there at every opportunity he got.

'The lazy old dog.' Irvine thought with a smile.

He wanted to turn around and leave, feeling he shouldn't be here anyway, when a soft whimpering caught his ear. It was Angelo, no doubt about it.

"Angelo? Where are you, boy? Are you alright?"

He followed the sound towards the bedroom. He opened the door slowly, expecting to see Angelo with his tail stuck in a drawer or with his paw stuck behind a bookcase. He hadn't expected to see Rinoa lying sprawled on the floor.

Her silky black hair was scattered around her head messily and her face was even paler than it had been before. Irvine froze for a second, then he snapped out of that immediately. He ran forward, clutching Rinoa in his arms tightly.

He noticed something on the floor next to her, close to where her hand had been. He picked it up and stuffed it in his pocket to examine later. First he needed to get her to the infirmary. He walked as fast as he could with the weight of a young girl in his arms.

"Help!" he shouted. "Anyone! Rinoa needs help. Please!"

Some dorm doors opened as he passed, but no one stepped out to help him. Everyone was too surprised to see him carrying this girl. Irvine cursed under his breath.

"Can't anyone do something?" he shouted angrily as he strode on.

Someone muttered something about calling Squall but Irvine kept going. Who knew how long Rinoa had been passed out. She needed medical attention.

He burst through the infirmary door, surprising the doctor at the desk. Irvine put Rinoa on one of the beds and watched as the doctor silently joined him at his side.

The door burst open again, this time letting in Squall, closely followed by the others.

"Doctor! What happened?" Squall asked nervously.

"Mister Kinneas just brought her in. I can't-"

"Irvine? You?" he asked suspicously. "Where did you find her?"

"I-" he hesitated. "I found her in your dorm."

Selphie took in a sharp breath. "Their dorm? What were you doing in their dorm?"

"I wanted to make sure she was feeling okay before I'd pick you up for a surprise dinner." He answered just as sharply. "And it's a good thing I did, too. Because she obviously isn't okay!"

"Ahem." Doctor Kadowaki interrupted. "How exactly did you find her?"

"She was sprawled on the floor...as if she had fallen backwards...oh...and this was next to her too..."

He reached into his pocket and took out the piece of paper he had found. He wanted to take a good look at it, but Squall snatched it away.

"This is one of our photographs." He said quietly as he unfolded it. "...W- what the..."

Squall's eyes grew big with incomprehension as he slowly reached for a chair to sit on.

"Squall, what's wrong?" Quistis asked worriedly.

He didn't answer, but handed her the photograph. She took it.

"Oh my..." she gasped.

The others now peered at it too. It was a photograph of Squall hugging Rinoa from behind on the 2F balcony. But Rinoa could only be recognised by her blue attire because her face had been scratched out.

Selphie let out a gasp too. "...Poor Rinni! She must have fainted from shock when she saw this. Who would send her something like this?"

Quistis laid a hand on Squall's shoulder. "...I...I don't want to be a messenger of bad news, Squall. But you know what this looks like."

He nodded vaguely.

"Sending someone something like this is a method often used by stalkers to threaten someone...Like the man in the paper the other day...the journalist...he sent his victims photographs just like this..." Quistis continued quietly.

Squall looked at the photograph again. Someone was threatening Rinoa...but why?

Doctor Kadowaki quietly tucked Rinoa in under the sheets. "It's time for you all to leave so I can examine her."

Squall nodded again and stood up hastily.

"Quistis, come with me. We're going to find out who sent this. I will not tolleratesthreats in my Garden and especially not if they're made against-"

He didn't finish his sentence but the others knew what he had meant. Irvine left first. He wondered if he should tell someone about what was going on. Rinoa had mentioned notes, they had both seen the posters...but this was getting out of hand. This was getting out of hand really sudden and really fast.

* * *

* * *


	8. Falling to Pieces

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.

* * *

**- Chapter eight: Falling to Pieces -**

Rinoa sighed.

"Squall, I'm _fine_."

But he wouldn't listen to her. "As soon as we get to our room, you're going to go to sleep and when you wake up you're going to tell me about the photograph."

He opened the door and carried her inside.

"Squall, I'm not going to sleep. I only just woke up."

Squall ignored her and put her down on the bed. "Okay, if you don't want to sleep then will you tell me about the photograph?"

Rinoa looked away. "...I can't really remember...I- I found it...and...then I fainted...I remember feeling dizzy while I was looking for something in the livingroom and then-"

"Livingroom? You were found in the bedroom."

"O- oh..." she avoided his eyes. "Then I must've remembered it wrong..."

Squall sat down on the side of the bed. "But you seem so...so calm about all of this. Aren't you scared?"

"I know...and I am. Perhaps I've just gotten used to it."

Squall raised his eyebrow. "Gotten used to it? You've received more of these?"

"N- no...not...not like this...no photographs."

"But?"

"Some...look, it really doesn't matter. Some kid just wanting to scare me with little notes."

Squall stood up. "Rinoa, I really don't understand how you can be soo cool about this. _Why_ would anyone threaten you? Because that's what those notes are, Rinoa. Threats! Now you might have gotten used to them but I'm not going to simply accept it."

Rinoa fell back on the bed and looked at the ceiling. "Squall, I'm not cool about it. I'm scared."

"Then why didn't you tell me about it before?" he asked softly. "You could have at least mentioned it once."

"I thought it would stop. I didn't think it would get out of hand...I mean, notes never hurt anybody, right?"

Squall gave her a soft smile. "I'm going to talk to Quistis about this and then we'll find the kid who sent you those things and hand him over to the Disciplinary Committee. They'd love to get their hands on a punk like that."

He pecked her forehead.

"I'll see you tonight. If you don't want to, you don't have to stay up."

He left their room and Rinoa pulled up her knees to her chin. She had been doing a lot of thinking. Those posters, copying Irvine's every word...The voices she had heard in the Training Centre...The notes...

All of that seemed to spin back to one thing.

She had asked Irvine to hold her, to go away with her. If he loved her, why hadn't he said yes? He said she still loved Squall too much, but what if that was an excuse to cover up the fact that...

She started when someone knocked on the door. She called out and the door opened.

"Rinoa, can I come in?"

"Sure..."

He entered and found her in the bedroom.

"I brought you some flowers." He said, gently putting them down on her desk. "Forget-me-nots. Your favourites, right?""

She turned her head so she didn't have to look at him.

"Rinoa, please...why are you shying away from me?"

She snapped her head back. "Perhaps because I don't want to see you right now."

Her eyes flared. Irvine was taken aback.

"...W- why? What did I do?"

"Oh, please. I have had enough time to think it all over. Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

Irvine stared at her. He didn't understand what she was going on about.

"Rinoa...what is this about?"

"I'm talking about you! I know why your words were on that poster, Irvine! Don't you dare try to deny it. Every time we meet we are completely alone and yet someone writes down complete conversations? I'm not the one who's doing it and who else was there to hear it?"

Irvine was struck dumb. Rinoa was accusing him of everything that had been happening.

"...You're nuts! Why would I-"

"You tell me you won't come away with me because I still love Squall too much, well that's just plain crap! And then these notes! Only you and me know about this. Only _you_ ever called me Bluejay. I'm not stupid, Irvine!"

"Well, I guess you _must_ be stupid! Otherwise you'd _know_ I wouldn't and couldn't be the one who did all those things. I love you!"

"No, you don't!" she shouted. "I still love him, you say? Well the truth is that you love Selphie too much. That or your pride is so big that you can't leave her until you got into her pants!"

"Selphie is nothing! She's not the woman I love, she's still just a kid."

"And then those voices! You followed me when I left the Secret Area the other night and made all those whispering noises. You think I can't recognise your voice? Why! Why did you do that? You wanted to scare me into never wanting to see you again so you could resume your persuit of that ditzy girl you call a 'nothing'."

Irvine raised his hands in the air desperately. "Hallelujah! You've brillantly succeeded in uncovering some sort of master plan that doesn't exist! Why can't you see that I love _you _and that it isn't me who's doing this?"

Rinoa stared at him angrily. "And why can't you admit that that's the truth! You're wrecking what we have, Irvine. You're destroying everthing."

He stood up and looked down on her. "Why would I? You seem to be perfectly capable of doing that yourself."

Rinoa clenched her hands into fists.

"I'm not staying here. I'll just go and...'pursue that ditzy nothing'." He said with sarcastic sneer.

"Fine!" Rinoa bellowed after him. "I don't want to see you anyway! We're through, Irvine! We're through as long as you can't face the truth!"

Her only answer was that of a door slamming shut. She waited for Irvine to come back inside to shower her with appologies but the door remained closed and the silence enveloped her in her loneliness.

Somehow she didn't quite understand what had just happened. She fought the tears and turned to Angelo who was cowering in one of the corners of the room.

"...Did...Did I...He...He doesn't really love me, does he, Angelo. He said it himself...he's going back to Selphie. That's the one he loves."

Angelo looked at her sympathetically.

"...I'm all alone..."

* * *

"Who does she think she is...Accusing me..."

He kicked a bin angrily.

"As if I'd do anything like that! Bluejay...a pissed-off hawk more like."

He threw a passer-by a foul look, who quickly scurried away. He stormed into his dormitory, kicked a chair back and fell down on it. He stared at the wall and folded his arms against his chest. He waited for his breathing to calm down

'She'll come back soon enough.' He thought angrily. 'She'll appologise.'

"I mean, come on!" he said to his empty room. "She can't expect me to crawl back after what she just did! First telling me she loves me but then accusing me of everything!"

He didn't want to admit it, but hearing those words come from Rinoa's mouth had really hurt him. He truly had deep feelings for her. But now...

He couldn't just forgive and forget. Even though the thought hurt him, he knew that he would have to stay away from her even if she sought to get close again. He would not let her near him before he had heard an apology from her mouth, from her heart.

He took his hat in his hand and threw it towards the wall forcefully. He cursed and threw his head back so he could stare at the ceiling. Suddenly the door opened and closed. He turned his head, half expecting to see Rinoa standing at the door with a teary face.

Instead, he was greeted by a wide smile. "Hey Irvine! I thought I'd stop by. Someone told me you had a sour look on your face, so...I thought I'd try and cheer you up. And...I wanted to apologise for my behavior. I didn't mean to snap at you. I can't honestly explain why I felt so jealous when you were worried about Rinoa..."

Selphie sat down on his bed and looked at him intently.

"So...got an idea how I can cheer you up?"

He smiled his well-known smile and slowly walked over to her.

"Hmm...how about...you give me a nice massage." He suggested with a smirk

She looked at him. "Sure...well, sit down, then."

Irvine sat down with his back to her and felt her hands on his shoulders, kneeding his tense muscles. She started to hum a little tune, which he vaguely recognised. Suddenly he turned around, grabbing her shoulders softly but firmly.

She looked at him questioningly. "Irvine?"

He looked at her and then quickly pressed his mouth on hers. She placed her hands on his shoulders and carefully kissed him back. But when his hold became more tight, she tried to push him away. He didn't listen.

"Irvine...please..."

He pushed her down on her back and kissed her neck, slowly making his way along the neckline of her dress.

"...Don't...please don't..." she whispered weakly.

Irvine raised his head and looked at her face. She looked back pleadingly. In his head he could hear Rinoa's words.

'The truth is that you love Selphie too much. That or your pride is so big that you can't leave her until you got into her pants!'

He blocked those words from his mind and pressed his moth down on Selphie's again. She tried to push him off but he pinned her arms by her side.

"Why don't you let me!" he asked her roughly. "Why don't you let me love you! I want to, so badly. But you never let me love you the way I want to!"

She watched as his eyes became moist and his tears slowly started to roll down his face.

"Irvine...please..."

"Don't you understand, Selphie? Don't you?"

"Irvine, sweetheart...I don't feel-"

"You don't feel ready? Is that it? But I do! I need to love you the way I want to. I am ready, why can't you be..."

He started to cry.

Selphie reached out and caressed his tears away.

"Irvine, love doesn't have to be that way...it doesn't. My love for you is something I don't need to show by doing what you have in mind right now."

He looked at her. "The thing I have in mind right now? You can't even call it by its name! You're so young that you can't even call it by its name. You're just a kid..."

She pulled her hand back suddenly, staring up at him with unbelief. "...A...a kid? Is that what you think of me?"

"You're still a kid...not a woman, Selphie. But I am a man. I...I feel and I think differently about love than you do. I am a man and I want to show you my love like a man!"

"And I'm not grown up enough? Is that it?" she shouted. "If you can only show your love like that then I'm not sure that I should love you back."

She tried to get up but he pushed her back.

"No! No...don't...don't leave me...Please don't leave me now...please...I need you..."

He rolled off the bed and cried on the floor. Selphie watched him, not understanding what was going on in his head or what his words meant. She let herself slide off the side of the bed and kneeled next to him.

She placed her hand on his back and brought her face close to his. "Don't worry. I won't leave if you don't want me to, Shh...I love you, I do. But I'm just not ready for that final step. Please wait a bit longer and let me get there by myself. It's okay."

His crying quieted down a little and he raised his head. He saw Selphie looking at him, but he imagined it was Rinoa's face instead.

"I still love you, it's okay." She said.

He smiled through his tears and caressed her face.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered hoarsley. "I shouldn't have..."

"It's alright. Really." She said soothingly. "Everything is fine."

* * *

* * *


	9. Forgive or Forget

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.

* * *

**- Chapter nine: Forgive or Forget -**

He opened his eyes and looked around. His head was still spinning with what had happened the day before. He had not expected the row he had had with Rinoa when he had walked to her dorm with a bunch of flowers and he had certainly not expected to fall to pieces like that after walking away so angrily.

He looked at the sleeping girl in his arms. She wrinkled her nose for a moment and turned on her side. He watched her chest rise and fall as she breathed slowly.

Yes, that was another thing he hadn't expected. He had nearly forced her into something she hadn't wanted to do but when he'd colappsed after realising he had lost Rinoa, she had supported him and forgiven him as if he hadn't done anything to her.

Now she was asleep in his arms. He smiled softly but tasted the bitterness of it too. Selphie truly cared for him, that was certain. She cared for him so much that she had staid with him the night before to make sure that he was alright.

But his thoughts were with Rinoa. His real feelings for Selphie had disappeared long ago. He had been torn between the two of them for a while, but slowly he knew that the actual feeling of love for Selphie had disappeared. But he couldn't find a way out of this relationship without hurting Selphie, and that was the one thing he was trying to prevent.

He caressed a strand of hair away from Selphie's face and whispered a soft prayer of thanks that he hadn't hurt her and that nothing had happened. His soft whispers had woken her and she opened her eyes.

"Hey..." she said sleepily. "How are you feeling?"

Irvine bit his lip. He should have asked her that after last night, not the other way around.

"I'm fine. I honestly don't know what came over me...I really am sorry."

She shook her head. "No, it's okay. I'm glad you feel better. A little patience never hurt anybody, did it." She added with a grin.

Irvine sat up and rubbed his eyes. His thoughts just kept coming back. He didn't really love her, but he desperately wanted to. He wanted to feel love for her so badly that he knew he would try everything in order to recall that feeling. He smiled warmly at her.

"So...are you going to wear that dress all day too?"

She giggled. "No, of course not. I slept in it...I want to wear something clean!"

"Hmmm, I don't think I've got anything in your size...how about you go take a shower here and I'll go get you a dress from your closet. And after that we can go grab some breakfast in the cafeteria."

Selphie smiled. "Sounds good to me!"

"Yeah, and after that we are going to go out and do whatever you want to do. This is going to be your day."

Selphie lurched forward and gave him a tight squeeze.

"To what do I owe this special treatement?" she asked with merry curiosity.

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her. "Because you are a very special girl and I know that I am a very lucky guy to be able to say you're mine. And because I was a real jerk last night and I want to apologise."

He watched her smile grow content, and perhaps even a little smug, when he leaned in to kiss her again. He hesitated for a moment as he brought his face close to hers but she answered the kiss, making him feel those feelings he wanted to feel so badly again for a moment.

He closed his eyes to try and savour it.

"Go on...take that shower. I'll be back with some clean clothes soon enough."

Selphie nodded and skipped into the bathroom. Irvine rubbed his face again. He waited until he could hear the water running before he got up from the bed. He remembered all the things he had said to her yesterday. He had called her a kid.

"But you're not a kid, Selphie...You're not...You can't be after the way you staid with me last night...You really are a woman already and I didn't see..." he whispered before he left."

He knew she couldn't have heard him but he couldn't say it again face to face. He closed the door and walked through the corridors quickly towards Selphie's dormitory. He kept his eyes in the ground as he tried to avoid thinking about anything.

He stopped at Selphie's dorm and entered the code to her door. Everything inside was clovered in bright layers of yellow. This practically blinding sight distracted him for a moment.

'Heh...or perhaps a kid still too.' He thought with a faint smile.

He opened her closet and took one of the many yellow dresses from its peg. He left again quickly before he got a headache from looking at all that yellow paint and fabric. He wanted to make his way back as fast as possible, but halfway through the corridor he noticed Rinoa leaning against a wall with Angelo by her side.

She gave him one glance but he couldn't see if it was hopeful or hateful.

"Hey there Bluejay..." he tried.

She looked away and pulled Angelo closer to her by his chain.

"My name is Rinoa." She said, looking back.

She measured him up, her eyes slowly working their way down from his face to his hands. They lingered on the dress he was holding. Irvine realised what she was thinking and tried to look as if he wasn't uncomfortable at all.

"So..." she said slowly. "I see you finally did get what you wanted."

"Now wait just a moment. Just because you've got a problem with me doesn't give you the right to assume things about Selphie." Irvine said, his temper rising. "She is the most forgiving person I know _and_ she's sweet. She staid with me last night, if you must know. But nothing happened."

Rinoa laughed hollowly. "Right! And I'm supposed to believe that? I _know_ how charming and persuading you can be, Irvine. You want me to believe she said no?"

"That's what she said. And if you don't want to believe me, then fine. Just remember that _I_ could say no to you, so perhaps I said no to her too. Not that it's any of your business anymore."

"Fine." She snapped. "It _isn't_ my business anymore. And I don't give a damn about whether you got her into bed or not. But _you_ better remember that I'm none of _your_ business anymore either."

He smirked. "Oh yeah? Then why were you waiting here for me?"

Again she laughed hollowly. "For you? In your dreams, if I remember correctly. That's what you called me, isn't it? I am waiting for my boyfriend who just happens to be coming right at us. So if you'll excuse me..."

She pushed past him, leaving him feeling bitter. Behind him he could hear her squeel.

"Squall! What took you so long? I was already starting to miss you..."

Irvine heard the enthousiasm in her voice. It was such an obvious attempt in trying to hurt him. He bit his lip and fought the urge to stomp with his feet. He didn't turn around to see Rinoa cling herself to Squall's arm.

"Is Angelo coming too?" Squall asked her.

Rinoa pulled at the leash a little. "Yes. We're going together. The three of us, just as we should always be."

Squall laughed. "Why, aren't we always together then?"

Rinoa cast a look at Irvine over her shoulder. She wanted him to turn around. She wanted him to see that this was all an act. She still loved him and regretted everything she had said the day before. But she was not going to apologise, she couldn't.

She needed him to know that this was fake. But he didn't turn around. She bit her lip and looked at Squall again.

"Of course we are."

Squall smiled and kissed her. "Come on...the city awaits."

Irvine listened to their footsteps moving away. He listened to the patter of Angelo's paws on the floor. He stormed on angrily, the yellow dress clenched in his hand.

If Rinoa wanted to act this way then fine. If she wanted to play happy family again with Squall, then fine! Everything was bloody well fine!

He reached his dormitory and angrily started to punch in the numbers on the code lock on his door when he noticed a piece of paper was pasted on the wall next to it. He read it slowly, already knowing what it would be about.

'_Our little Bluejay has gotten herself into some trouble. She was so unhappy in her cage that she complained to the boy standing outside over and over again. She bored him with her pleas and want for him to free her. She did this so much that the boy grew tired. One morning he just walked away._

"_Wait!" she called to him. "Don't go."_

"_Why not? You ask me for something I can't give. All you want from me is freedom. I am nothing to you, just my ability to release you is important. But I can't give you that if you don't realise what your freedom would truly mean."_

"_No, no!" she chirrupped. "No, don't lie to me! You say you can't give it to me while I know you can. I love my cage too much, you say? Well, the truth is you love the power you hold over me too much! That or your pride is too big to give it up that easily."_

_The boy looked at her angrily. "How dare you..."_

"_Why can't you admit that that's the truth!" the little bluejay shouted at him as he turned away. _

"_I'm not staying here..." he said simply._

"_Fine!" she bellowed. "I don't want to see you anyway! Not as long as you can't face the truth!"_

_Only when the boy had walked out of sight did she realise that she had scared him away. Only then did she realise she was all alone now and all hope of ever gaining freedom gone.'_

Irvine took the paper down. This one had been long. He didn't like the resemblance to the arguement he'd had with Rinoa the day before. It had been in her room, right. There hadn't been anyone else in there for sure. Were they being bugged?

He went inside and saw Selphie sitting in front of the mirror, wrapped in a towel and combing her hair. She turned around and smiled at him when she saw his reflection in the mirror.

"I dropped my dress in the laundrybasket, I hope that's okay."

He nodded vaguely.

"What's that?" she inquired, pointing at the paper.

"Oh...nothing. One of those posters was pasted on the wall."

"A new one?"

"Yeah."

"You should give it to Quisty. She can probably use it."

Irvine nodded again. "I will. But not now. You get dressed first and then we'll go out and have fun."

But Selphie but her lip. She took the dress he had brought and looked at it.

"I, er...when you were out, I got a call from Naina. She said the dancers wanted another rehearsal. They're so unsure about the construction they're going to have to dance in. And as the head of the festival committee I need to be there."

She looked at him apologetically.

"What, today?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yeah...I'm sorry..."

"And you can't tell them to sod off? Can't you say you're busy?"

She shook her head. "No, I tried to get off but I couldn't."

Irvine sighed. "I guess you have to. And I'll be able to give this thing to Quistis."

Selphie had walked into the bathroom again to put on the dress.

"I'll get back as soon as I can." She said, her voice echoeing against the tiled walls. "Perhaps we can go out for dinner."

"Sure, that sounds good. I'll book us a table." He replied.

She giggled and pecked his cheek when she came back out. "Sounds great. Thank you."

He watched her leave and waited a few moments before reaching for his phone.

"Quistis? Yeah, it's Irvine. Listen, I've got another one of those posters for you. Yeah, I found it this morning. They're probably all over Garden again...No problem. Yeah. Okay. Good luck with it."

He hung up again and sat down in a chair. He reached for a book. He tried to read a few lines but gave up soon enouhg and tossed it back on the table. Deciding to take a shower, he got to his feet, turned on the taps and undressed.

But just as he stepped into the cubicle and felt the stream of hot water pour down on him, a little tune started in his room. He cursed and jumped away from underneath the shower, quickly wrapping a towl around his waist while diving for his phone.

"Yeah." He answered curtly.

Suddenly his eyes grew widerd.

"I- okay...why? Yes...yes, I'll come."

He put his phone down and ran his hand through his wet hair. He dried himself off with his towl and got dressed quickly. He left his room and headed towards the Secret Area as he had been asked to.

It didn't make sense to him why he had been called. He walked through the Training Centr and made his way to the Secret Area. As he opened the door, he saw her waiting for him near the banister.

She looked at him hesitantly, her eyes puffy and red. Then she suddenly ran towards him and wrapped her arms around him. She was crying softly.

He wrapped his arms around her too.

"...I'm so sorry..." she whispered. "You were right. I read the poster and I only realised how alone I was after you had left. And it was my fault...I shouldn't have yelled."

"Rinoa, please...let me go..."

"No...no, please don't leave me."

"Rinoa, you accused me of doing all those things..."

She looked up at him. "I know and I'm sorry. But you shouldn't have written those things in the first place..."

"What? I-"

"Don't worry, I forgive you for it. You showed me how wrong I was, how mean I was."

He pushed her away. "Rinoa, I didn't write them and if you keep saying that I did then we can't be anything."

He turned around and wanted to leave again but she grabbed his hand.

"What are you saying...that...that you really didn't..."

"That's exactly what I've been saying all along."

She sank to her knees. "Then who..."

"I don't know." He snapped. "But I'm leaving."

"No!" she screamed.

She flew into his arms again.

"No, no...please, I'm so scared! Only you can help me. Only you know who I really am...I need you and I love you!"

"...Then how come you doubted me so easily." He said quietly.

This was tearing him apart. He didn't want to give in to this so easily but on the other hand he wanted to be able to love her again.

"...I don't know...I'm so scared, Irvine I'm sorry and I'm scared."

He looked at her. "...Rinoa..."

He knew he had already forgiven her. He had forgiven her the moment he had heard her voice over the phone.

* * *

* * *


	10. Love in the Dark

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.

* * *

**- Chapter ten: Love in the Dark -**

"What's the time?"

"It's nearly half past five."

"...Then I have to go."

Irvine looked at her. "Why?"

"Well...Squall was feeling so bad about today that he said he'd take me to a restaurant."

"What happened?"

Rinoa shrugged. "He and I went to visit Timber, but halfway to Balamb his phone rang. It was Quistis who had found another one of those posters and she needed Squall's help so he went back and I did too. That's when I read the posters and called you."

Irvine looked away. He had called Quistis, so he himself was the reason why Rinoa's day at Timber had been ruined. She got up and tied her shoelaces. Suddely he chuckled.

"What?" she asked.

"Oh, it's just that I promised to take Selphie out to dinner as well. Because of last night."

"...Oh." Rinoa ran a hand through her hair and walked towards the door. ""Well...I guess I'll see you tomorrow. We're still...us, aren't we? We're okay, right?"

He nodded. "We're still us. We will always be what we can't avoid being. Us."

Selphie smiled at her boyfriend from behind the candle. The light danced and made strange shadows on his face. She thought he looked tired, the dark rings under his eyes stressed by the flame and its shadows.

She put her hand on his on the table. "This really is a lovely place. How did you find it?"

"Oh...a friend told me about it."

"Well, it's lovely." She assured him.

He looked around and waved at one of the waiters. "Could we get a bottle of red wine, please?"

The waiter nodded politely. Irvine turned back to Selphie.

"So, did you see anything you liked?"

Selphie bent her head over the menu again and let out a ponderous mumble. "Hmm...I can't decide...it all looks so nice. What are you having?"

Irvine reached for a piece of bread and bit off a bit of the crust while looking at the menu.

"I thought the veal looked okay...with a red wine sauce and steamed potato chips."

"Hmm...I think...I'll got for the chicken wraps. Sounds exciting." She said beaming.

She closed her menu and leaned back in her chair. Irvine wanted to say something to her, about how beautiful she looked or about how happy she looked. But two voices at the door made them both look up before he had the chance to.

"...I ordered a table for two."

"Yes sir, under what name?"

"Leonheart."

Irvine closed his eyes and moaned inwardly. He tried to hide behind his menu, slipping down on his chair so he'd sit a little lower, but Selphie waved at them excitedly.

"Squall! Rinoa!" she called merrily.

Squall looked up and waved back at them.

"Hi Selphie. I see we both had the same idea." He joked.

Rinoa smiled at them shyly.

"Come on, Squall. The guy found us a table." She urged softly.

"Hey!" Selphie said suddenly. "Why don't we eat together!"

Squall seemed to ponder this for a moment. This wasn't his idea of a romantic evening, but perhaps it was a good idea anyway.

"Sure. I'm sure they'll be able to put up a table next to yours."

"Irvine, why don't you help him?" Selphie said, poking him in the ribs.

Hastily he stood up and started to pull up another table. Squall sat down across from Selphie and patted the chair next to him for Rinoa to sit down on. Irvine sat down next to Selphie and took her hand under the table.

She gave him a smile and then handed Squall her menu. "We already decided."

Squall opened it after he had taken off his jacket. Irvine silently handed his menu to Rinoa and kept his eyes on her as she accepted it. She looked back at him and their eyes locked for a moment. Then she looked away and leaned her head against Squall's shoulder.

The waiter came back and brought them their bottle of wine and another basket of bread.

"So Selphie...about your Festival Surprise..." Squall said, taking a sip from his wine. "Is it going to happen soon? I must admit that I'm really curious."

She giggled. "Yeah, real soon. We're going to have a last rehearsal in a few days and then the big day will arrive. Posters will be up tomorrow afternoon. I've instructed a few young people to do that and don't worry," she added. " I've checked it all with Cid."

She winked. Squall laughed and Irvine forced a laugh from his throat too. He kept glancing at Rinoa every now and then as they waited for their meals to arrive. When the waiter finally brought them their dishes, he grabbed Selphie's hand and squeezed it tightly, trying to get his mind to stay on her, not on Rinoa.

He was quiet as he started to eat and ignored the conversation that had started between Selphie and Squall. He didn't look up but he knew Rinoa was eating quietly too. Suddenly he felt something tough his lower leg. He looked up and down again quickly as he felt Rinoa's eyes burning.

Slowly he put down his knife and raised his head to meet her gaze. He could feel her foot rubbing against his leg, slowly down to where his foot was. Then she put her foot down and nudged her knee against his. He frantically forced back a cough and dropped his napkin by accident.

He muttered an excuse while diving down to retrieve it. He saw Rinoa get up from her chair from underneath the tablecloth and when he had seated himself in his chair again, she had disappeared out of sight.

Selphie noticed how he looked around confusedly. "She went to see if Angelo was alright."

"Angelo?" he asked, now even more confused.

"Yeah." Squall muttered. "She insisted on taking him with us. But he wasn't allowed inside and so she had to tie him up at the door."

Irvine let out a soft 'oh' and bent his head over his plate again. Selphie placed her hand on his knee.

"Are you alright? You're so quiet."

"It's nothing. I just...have...a little problem with my, er, stomach." He lied quickly. "It started this afternoon. I'd better go to the toilet, excuse me for a moment. I'll be right back."

He got up and made his way to the toilets. There was only one and it was occupied so he had to wait. He leaned back against the wall, trying to catch a glimpse of Rinoa at the door. But he could only see the doorman and Angelo.

He sighed and tapped the door impatiently. The toilet was being flushed and the door opened with a strong jerk. Rinoa tumbled out, falling against his chest. She was about to say something cranky when she noticed it was him.

"Oh..." she said. "Sorry. I thought it was someone else."

"...I thought you were with Angelo."

She shook her head. "...No..."

She disentangled herself from him and looked up at him.

"I don't know if I can keep this up." She whispered. "I see you and I want to kiss you. But when Squall touches me...I just...I just don't know what to do anymore."

"Shh...I know. I feel the same. But you still love him and I still love her."

"Do you? Do you really?" she cradeled his face in her hands and brought it close to hers. "You smile at her, you take her hand. Yet you avoid us both as soon as we're in one room. You don't want to hurt her and you can't get yourself to hurt her. But you don't love her."

"Rinoa, please..." he whispered. "Not here..."

But she had already pressed her mouth to his. He grabbed her tightly and kissed her back forcefully. His hands roamed over her shoulders and her back, pressing her tightly to his chest. Rinoa crawled her hand around his neck, making sure he couldn't pull back.

Suddenly they both let go, jumping back as if someone had sounded an alarm. They smiled at each other guiltily.

"Irvine? Rinoa? Where are you?" Selphie's voice sounded.

Their smiles disappeared. Rinoa popped her head around the corner. "Yes?"

"Oh there you are!" Selphie said merrily. "Squall's paid the check so we can go home now."

Irvine took a deep breath and walked around the corner too. "Hey there, babe."

Rinoa laughed, covering her nerves. "Irvine and I bumped into each other. I was just washing my hands after handling Angelo."

Irvine brushed past her, offering Selphie his arm. Rinoa waited for Squall and the four of them walked the road back to Balamb Garden.

"I hope you didn't mind that we ate with Selphie and Irvine tonight. I know I had promised you a romantic evening for the two of us." Squall whispered into her ear.

Rinoa shook her head with a smile and kissed his cheek. "I had a lovely time. And when we get back we might have an even better time, _really_ just the two of us."

He had a smile on his face she couldn't quite recognise. "I think I like the sound of that."

She realised his smile was a smirk.

He pulled her closer to him as they entered Garden. Selphie and Irvine said goodnight to them and went the other way. Rinoa checked her watch.

"Why don't I run up to our dorm and get ready while you take Angelo out for a one minute stroll in the garden. He didn't do his business yet." She said, a soft yet cheeky smile.

Squall took the leash from her hand and watched her skip away. She felt happy. Irvine and she were okay and apart from that, Squall and she were okay too. Knowing that he wanted to spend this much romantic time with her made her heart flutter.

She entered the room and reached for a box of matches. She placed a few candles around the room and lit them. Then she took off her blue vest and her black boots and turned back the covers of their bed to wait for Squall.

But as she wanted to crawl into bed, a little sharp thing pricked her side. She reached out for it and found it was a piece of paper. Curious, she turned it around.

_'Why can't you stop lying? You're a mean and conscienceless doublecrosser, an adultress, and you don't care. You're hurting those around you, those who love you. You must stop it or I will stop you. Stop it or I will hurt you back to show you just what kind of pain you cause.'_

She dropped it and a small gasp escaped her lips. With trembling fingers did she pick it up again. How had it gotten there? Someone had been in their room!

She wanted to tear it up, but she heard Squall's footsteps outside the door. Quickly she stuffed it under her pillow and pulled the sheets up to her chin. Squall entered with Angelo, who he led to his own basket.

He took off his jacket and leaned agains the door, watching Rinoa as she was lying in bed. She looked back at him uncomfortably.

"What's wrong?" she asked nervously.

"Nothing. I was just looking at you. You really are beautiful, you know that, don't you?"

He untied his boots and took off his shirt as he made his way over to the bed. Rinoa pulled the covers back to let him under and he leaned in to kiss her. His hands lifted her top above her head and she closed her eyes as she felt the fabric slither onto the floor.

She placed her arms around him and waited for him until he was ready. He looked into her eyes.

"I love you, Rinoa." He said with nothing but sincerity in his eyes.

She kissed his lips softly. "I know. And I love you too."

"I just wanted you to know."

He put out the light and kissed her again. She closed her eyes once more and let herself be lost in the feelings that surrounded them both in this darkness.

* * *

She opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling. The room was still dark and it was still night. She felt Squall turn over next to her in bed. His breathing had quieted down as he was sleeping calmly. She turned on her side and watched his chest rise and fall with every breath.

She caressed a strand of hair away from her own eyes and fell on her back again. She suddenly noticed the was wearing her black top. This surprised her, because she couldn't recall putting it back on after what she and Squall had been enjoying.

She shrugged and wondered what time it was. She could hear all sorts of noises coming from the corridors. This also surprised her, because they were usually very quiet at night. She looked at the alarm clock on Squall's bedside table.

It was only half past two in the morning.

'That's odd.' She thought.

She turned on her side again and tried to fall asleep but the noise outside just got louder. Suddenly she recognised the noise as screams and people running. She sat up straight, causing Squall to wake up.

"Wasse matte?" he muttered groggily.

"I don't know." She whispered hauntedly.

She got out of bed and moved towards the door. The moment she opened it, Quistis came tumbling in.

"Squall, quick! Wake up!"

"Why, wat's wrong?"

"Fire! The Quad's on fire!"

* * *

* * *


	11. Linking the Dots

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.

* * *

**- Chapter eleven: Linking the Dots -**

"Ugh...I can't believe this happened." Zell muttered tiredly.

"You did a good job, Zell. I was afraid the whole Quad would burn down." Squall sighed heavily.

Irvine looked at Selphie, who was sitting in a chair and looked beaten. The entire decor for her show had been destroyed. The costumes were gone and all that remained of the bird cage were a few burnt beams at the bottom. Her work was all gone.

He sat down next to her and took her hand. "I'm sorry for you. I know how much work you put into this."

She looked at him with teary eyes. She tried to smile and shrugged her shoulders as if she didn't care.

"I'm just happy no one got hurt. That's the main thing, right?" she said.

But Irvine knew how defeated she felt. He could see it in her empty eyes. Quistis gave her a sympathetic look and walked up to Squall.

"What a mess..."

From where they were sitting, they could see the blackened remains of the Quad. Squall nodded vaguely.

"Where's Rinoa?" she asked.

"She went to get us some water. Said she thought we could all use a drink."

"Did you find anything, about what caused it?"

Squall shook his head. "Not really. We know it wasn't a busted fuse, because none of the lights would be working right now if that had happened."

Quistis pulled her knees up to her chin. "You know what Cid thinks, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"I think he's right."

"But why? Who would gain anything by setting fire to the stage, who!"

He sighed loudly. They snapped up as they heard a loud clatter behind them.

"Sorry..." Rinoa muttered as she dropped to her knees to pick up the now broken glasses.

Zell stood up and walked over to help.

"Don't worry. I've seen enough water for one day." He said.

Rinoa dumped the shards of glass on the tray she had been carrying with trembling hands. She looked up at Quistis with big eyes.

"You think...you think someone set the Quad on fire on purpose? You don't think it's an accident?"

"There's nothing that we could find to point at anyone...but it just seems so unreal. We've never had any problems like this before. So why now?"

Rinoa looked at her hands. She knew that there was one person who didn't jump for joy about Selphie's show. She herself had found the idea of a dance show about a locked-up bluejay a bit uncanny.

It just seemed too much of a coincidence to her. But burning it down to prevent it was not something she'd do.

'Besides.' She thought. 'I'd have known if I had done something like that. And I wouldn't want to hurt Selphie. All her effort...'

She left the tray on the floor and sat down next to Squall, leaning her head on his shoulder. He slipped his arm around her waist.

"We'll find a clue, I'm sure." He said assuringly.

"Commander Leonheart, sir!"

They looked up at the young SeeD that came running towards them.

"Sir! We found something!"

"What?" Squall rose quickly. "What it is?"

"We found a box of matches, sir. And half a can of petrol, but we're not sure it was used for the fire."

"Well, get on it. Put as many people on it as you need. We're not letting some crazy lunatic burn down our Garden."

The boy shook his head vigourously. "No sir. We won't, sir. Oh...and Commander, someone also found this. I don't know if it has anything to do with the fire but one of the guys found it near the box of matches, so..."

He gave Squall a small piece of paper, nodded his head curtly and ran off again. Squall looked at it and let out aggrivated sigh as he gave it to Quistis.

"It's that drawing."

"Drawing?"

"The same as before. The bird in a cage."

"You mean the one I borrowed?" Selphie asked wildly.

Squall nodded. "That's the one. This is so frustrating! Some wacko is trying to destroy our Garden. Drawings aren't that bad, nor are stories on the wall, because I'll assume that those are from the same person, seeing as how they're both about birds...but a fire! In _my_ Garden!"

He paced around.

"Quistis, you come with me. I don't know what to do about this anymore, we need to talk this over with Cid."

She nodded and got to her feet.

"Rinoa, I'm sorry sweetheart. But this needs my attention right now." He said to his girlfriend.

She nodded. "I know. I want you to get the bastard who did all this. No mercy, okay?"

He pecked the top of her head and walked away briskly with Quistis in his wake. Selphie slumped down on her chair again.

"I'm worried." She muttered quietly. "I used that drawing as the base for my entire show. Squall thought it was mine before. You don't think he'll blame me again, do you?"

She looked at Irvine hopefully, but he didn't notice. His eyes were unfocussed as though his mind was somewhere else. Zell quickly sat down next to her when he notcied Irvine wasn't paying attention.

"Don't wory, Sefie."

She winced when she heard him use the nickname only Irvine ever used.

"Don't worry." He said again. "Squall knows you. He knows you would never do anything like this. And he knows how much effort you've put into this and how much you love the Festival. You wouldn't ruin that."

Selphie smiled vaguely. "Thanks Zell."

She leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes, she was so tired. Zell closed his eyes too. They had been up all night, commanding the fire fight team. His head was full and empty at the same time.

His body felt heavy and he allowed himself to doze off with Selphie doing the same, leaned against his shoulder.

Rinoa watched them and pulled at Irvine's sleeve. She nodded her head in the direction of the door and he followed her quietly. They were silent until they had reached Rinoa's dormitory.

"We need to talk. And think." Irvine said as she closed the door behind them.

"Yes we do." She agreed.

"Squall said that he thought the drawing is linked to the story and I agree with that. Two seperate things both about a bluejay...it's too much of a coincidence." Irvine said. "And because the words in the story are ours, I believe that whoever wrote it, also sent you the treats."

Rinoa looked at her shoes.

"So everything is linked. The drawing, the story, the notes and the fire." She concluded. "But...what I don't understand...is why only I get these notes. You've never gotten any, have you?"

Irvine shook his head. "Not one..."

Rinoa walked over to him and sat down on his lap, clasping herself to him. Irvine put his arms around her and couldn't help caressing her back.

"What if Quistis is right..." she whispered. "What if this is the same thing as what happened in Balamb...A guy, threatening girls with notes, pictures...Maybe there really was a lunatic killing people, maybe the journalist wasn't lying...Irvine, I'm scared."

"That guy was a mental-case. He was crazy, Rinoa. There never was a lunatic killer." Irvine said quietly, perhaps to convince himself more than her, and continued to caress her back.

Ignoring the confusion and the fright that filled her right now, she allowed herself to enjoy his touch and closed her eyes. Irvine traced a line of kisses down her neck and then kissed her mouth when her hand caressed his cheek softly.

"Why can't we always just feel like this? Like we do in these little moments?" she asked.

Irvine said nothing, having no answer to give. He kissed her neck again and she closed her eyes, hesitantly letting this feeling overwhelm her. He pushed her down on her bed and she wrapped her arms around him. She didn't want to let him go.

"Hold me." She whispered. "Just hold me tight. And love me. Love me the way Selphie doesn't let you...the way you loved me when this first started."

Irvine nodded in silence, not taking his eyes off her. She unbuttoned her blue vest and dropped it to the floor as he took off his shirt.

"I love you Rinoa...my songbird. I do." He said before kissing her again.

She held him tight when he entered her and her hold only loosened when she fell alsleep a long time after they were done. Irvine watched her for a second and then disentangled himself from her limbs. He placed a quick kiss on her forehead before slipping back into the clothes he had discarded along the way.

With one last look at her, asleep in the bed, he sneaked out the room. The worries and the uncertainty about this madman had tired him too.

* * *

He unlocked the door with a quietness he usually didn't have. He expected Rinoa still to be in bed. He had assumed that that was where she had gone after all the mess they had cleaned up the best they could today.

Quietly he entered the bedroom and walked towards the bed. He sat down on it and watched her sleep.

'Too tired even to undress.' He thought as he saw she was still wearing her bluevest and her boots.

Suddenly he noticed the thirst he had ignored all day long. He had been too busy to take the time to grab a glass of water. Too busy stopping a fire, too busy talking to Cid. He walked back into the main area of their dormitory and sat down with a glass of water before wanting to turn in too.

He stared at the wall opposite him for a while before he noticed a scrap of paper on the floor near the door. He set his glass on a table and walked over to pick it up. Slowly he read it and after reading it two more times, he made his way into the bedroom with the note clenched in his hand.

He sat down on the bed a bit more forcefully this time and this woke Rinoa from her sleep. She looked up at him and smiled groggily.

"Rinoa...sweetheart, there's something you need to see..."

She sat up, feeling awake all of a sudden and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"What?"

He handed her the note he had been holding. She sat up straight, vaguely wondering when she had put her vest back on after Irvine had left. She turned her attention to the note and felt her face grow pale as she read it.

'_I tried to show you that I'm serious. Didn't I show you enough to take me seriously? Flames apparently don't scare you.Then I must show you again. Stop your actions before you hurt others close to you. Stop or I will be forced to stop you. You already forced me into hurting someone close to you and now, because you still don't seem to understand the pain you cause, I will hurt someone again. You should have listened to my last warning.'_

Rinoa stared up at Squall with big scared eyes. This was another threat and this was the worst one yet. And now Squall knew about it too.

"Rinoa...can you tell me what this is all about?"

* * *

* * *


	12. Truth

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.

* * *

**- Chapter twelve: Truth -**

She stared at him speachlessly.

"Rinoa, what is this all about." He asked again.

"I-"

"It's a threat, I can see that. But it doesn't make any sense. You're hurting someone with your actions? What 'actions' Rinoa!"

She wanted to look away or turn around so she wouldn't have to face him. But it would only make answering his questions worse. She realised that she couldn't continue keeping Squall in the dark. She looked down for a moment and then forced herself to look up.

"Squall...I..."

The fact that he was staring at her made it even harder on her. She tried to discover what kind of look he had in his eyes but she couldn't say if it was anger, curiosity or fear.

"I need to tell you something."

"You know who's been sending these?"

"No...Squall, please." She put her trembling fingers to his lips. "I need to say something, but I can't do it if you talk to me. You need to let me speak for a few minutes...without interrupting me, okay?"

Squall sat down on the bed again and looked at the wall so he wouldn't have to see her face.

"I think I know where this is going..." he muttered in a low voice.

She paced through the room for a few moments, before she realised what he was thinking.

"No, no...it's not what you think, I'm...well, not...not completely. I love you, Squall. I need you to realise that I do still love you with all my heart. But...I can't be dishonest anymore and say that you're the only one..."

She saw his face stiffen. But he kept his silence.

"I felt...alone. And that was because of your job-"

"You always said you understood! You always- I tried to be there for you, do things for you! Always!"

"Squall, I know! And it hurts me so much that his has happened. It was never supposed to be this way because you and I really do love each other, don't we. But somehow...in my loneliness...I must've reached out for somene else..."

He stood up and ran his hand through his hair. She could see that he was trying to keep his face as emotionless as he could, but the trembling muscles betrayed him and she knew he was about to cry. A sharp jab struck her heart, seeing him like this.

"Squall...please look at me..."

He turned around to face her and immediately she wished she hadn't asked him to. He had tears in his eyes and she saw he was desperately trying to keep his lip steady. Only now did she realise exactly how much she had hurt him.

She looked down and felt her own eyes start to water too. She bit her lip to stop the tears from flowing. All she wanted to do now was to step forward and clasp him in her arms, but she didn't dare close the space between them. His burning eyes forced her to look up again, to face his pain.

"I never wanted this..." she whispered in a hoarse voice.

"I'm sure you didn't!" he snapped.

She could hear the tears breaking his voice.

"It's true...I only ever wanted to love you and I _do_ love you!"

"But I'm not enough for you? But you need more than me? Then why don't you go ahead and kick me out so Irvine can come over! Go on!"

Rinoa frowned confused.

"...Eh...?"

Irvine? She was sure she hadn't mentioned him yet. But when she looked at Squall she saw anger burn behind his watery eyes.

"Don't think I'm stupid, Rinoa! I have eyes, you know! Did you honestly think I hadn't noticed the way the two of you act?"

"Then why didn't you..." she whispered.

"Figure that out yourself! But I'll give you a hint. Perhaps I didn't _want_ to see or believe it because I still loved you"! he bellowed.

And before Rinoa could say anything, he had stormed out the door, smashing it shut with a loud bang. Rinoa felt her knees buckle and before she realised she was falling, she had already hit the floor.

She had never felt this cold before. She couldn't believe that she had finally said those things to Squall...or that he had known all this time. There was nothing she wanted more at the moment than to be cradled in his arms, but he would never hold her like that again.

Never like the way he had held her while on the Ragnarok. He would never risk his life for her the way he had done when she had been in space all alone, or fight for her the way he had done when Adel...

He had fought for her all those times, he had shown he loved her in so many ways and this was how she had repaid him.

She shivered on the linolium floor and finally she could cry, although no tears were left to fall down from her eyes. When the door opened with a soft creak, she raised her head and wiped her cheeks dry.

"Squall?" she asked hopefully.

But it was Quistis who shook her head.

"No, it's me. Rinoa...I'm _so_ sorry."

Sorry? For what? Rinoa wondered. Squall couldn't have told everyone already could he? The mere thought almost made her sink to her knees again.

"You need to come with me. I can't tell you-"

"Quisty, what's this about?" Rinoa asked, swallowing away her broken voice.

"It's...about Angelo..."

She knew this was supposed to make her feel at ease, knowing that the break-up was still unknown to the others. But the way Quistis was talking to her scared her.

"What do you mean? What about Angelo?"

Quistis avoided Rinoa's eyes. "I can't say it...it's...horrible..."

Rinoa's breath got stuck in her throat. She followed Quistis towards the infirmary, not knowing what to expect, not understanding why they were headed there.

The doctor was seated behind her desk, waiting for them to arrive. Once they entered she stood up quickly.

"Miss Heartily...are you...sure you want to see this?"

Rinoa nodded vaguely. "I want to see Angelo...Where is he, is he okay?"

Quistis stepped back with her hand pressed to her mouth, staying behind while Rinoa followed Kadowaki. Rinoa looked at her friend over her shoulder. Then Kadowaki opened the door ahead by pressing the keybutton on the wall next to it and waited outside, allowing Rinoa to step inside.

Rinoa walked in slowly, searching the floor with her eyes to see if Angelo was trotting around somewhere. But a nasty, putrid smell lured her attention to the bed. The mattress on the bed had been covered with a green plastic sheet and on top of that was Angelo.

At least, that was what her eyes told her. But when she looked closer she saw that Angelo was dead.

His body had been mutilated. His stomach had been cut open with a knife or something like it, and his blood was already dripping from the sheet to the floor.

Rinoa doubled back out the door and fell against Quistis who had just wanted to enter the room herself. Rinoa wanted to speak, but she couldn't and looked at Quistis instead, trying to find answers there.

Quistis shook her head at Kadowaki and the doctor closed the door again. Quistis guided Rinoa to a chair and then sat down herself, fiddling with the zipper of her shirt to occupy herself while waiting for Kadowaki to speak.

"Someone found him in the Secret Area. And...this was found next to him."

Kadowaki slid a slip of paper over the desk and Rinoa took it hesitantly. She looked at Kadowaki before unfolding it, but Kadowaki was staring at her desk and not at her.

'I told you before that I had given you a final warning. Your dog had to suffer this fate so I could get through to you...'

Rinoa whimpered and let the note fall to the floor.

"Perhaps she should be taken to her dormitory..." Quistis whispered.

But the doctor shook her head. "No. I want to examine her first. I don't want her to lapse into a shock without us knowing."

Quistis nodded faintly and got to her feet. "Very well...I'll leave her in your hands, doctor. Please...could you take care of Angelo too? I'll go and see Squall. He needs to be informed."

She bent down and slid the note into her pocket. She looked at the pale Rinoa helplessly for a moment and then turned around to leave. Quistis tried to force the image of the mutilated dog from her mind as she stepped aboard the elevator but she found it difficult.

Angelo had helped them so many times in battle and she also knew how much Rinoa had loved him. She shook her head violently and tapped the floor with her foot impatiently. When the elevator doors opened again she burst through them.

She brushed past Xu's desk, muttering an excuse and didn't wait for her aproval to enter Cid's office. She knew Cid would be talking to Squall right now and this concerned them both.

"Sir, Squall." She greeted curtly as she marched into the office. "I know I shoulnd't barge in like this but I've got a very serious incident on my hands and-"

She stopped herself talking as it hit her that this wasn't he right way to tell them. This concerned a friend of theirs and not someone they didn't know. Squall needed to be told directly but tactfully and not with all this blah blah around it. She turned to face him.

"Squall...it's about Rinoa."

She had expected him to look worried or curious, but instead he looked uninterested.

"Squall, this is serious..."

"If she's having a tantrum then don't expect me to help. I don't want anything to do with her anymore."

Quistis was taken aback by this. "What? But...but she's your girlfriend!"

"Not anymore, she isn't.! And I don't want to hear about her petty problems. Can't you see I'm trying to my job here?" he snapped.

Quistis slammed the note down on the desk. "This _is_ you job, Squall! Do you honestly think I'd come here if this wasn't serious?"

"I don't know, you tell me!" he bellowed.

His face began to look red and he rose from his chair to face Quistis. Now her face coloured red too.

"If you'd just listen to me you'd know what this is about! Angelo was murdered!"

Immediately she turned around and raised her hand to her head. This wasn't the way she had planned to tell him. And all this yelling wasn't doing any of them good..

'And...' she thought. 'What is this about Rinoa and Squall breaking up?'

That couldn't be true, could it? Then again, it would explain his short temper. Squall sank back into the chair with a strange frown on his face.

"...Murdered?" he asked hoarsley.

She turned around again and nodded. "Yes...it's horrible...I've seen the it..."

Squall looked at the note and reached for it tentively.

"We found that next to him." She explained.

_"I told you before that I had given you a final warning. Your dog had to suffer this fate so I could get through to you. If you stop hurting those around you then you will be safe. If you don't then perhaps you will suffer the same fate not too long from now."_ He read slowly.

He looked up at Quistis' face, that seemed so pale now, in contrast to the shade of red it had been seconds ago.

"This...was found with Angelo?"

Quistis nodded.

He looked at Cid. "Sir...this is a threat...and actual threat on someone's life in my Garden!"

Cid, who had been silent up till now, folded his hands together and leaned his elbows on his desk. "Well...you know what you must do, Commander. It's your job to act on this."

Squall slid the note back onto the desk. "I know. But...I don't think I should handle this case...It being about Rinoa and all..."

He looked at Quistis hopefully, but she shook her head.

"No, Squall. Not me. Not on my own. If you want I will help you, I'll talk to Rinoa. But it's you who needs to take charge."

He nodded slowly and picked up the note again.

"If you don't then perhaps you will suffer the same fate not too long from now." He read again. "This guy is serious...Are you sure Angelo is-"

"Yes!" she snapped.

"Sorry...I believe you...First things first. I want to see Angelo. I want to know what kind of sick person we're dealing with. And Rinoa needs protection. Where is she now?"

"At the infirmary. Kadowaki wanted to examine her."

"What! You left her without protection after someone threatened her?" he shouted exasperated.

Quistis paled at his outburst.

"...S- sorry...I'm just...worried about her." He whispered.

"But I thought-"

"Quistis, that Rinoa and I aren't...well, that doesn't mean that I simply stopped caring. I still love her but I can't face her right now. Feelings don't just disapear."

He stood up and walked towards the door.

"I'll go and see if I can find someone to stand guard at her door, just to be on the safe side."

"Wait." Quistis said quickly. "I'll come with you."

She hurried out the door and pressed the button for the elevator. When the doors slid open and they went inside, Quistis felt a question burning in her mind. She waited for the elevator doors to close so Xu wouldn't hear her.

"Squall...can I ask you...what happened? Between you and her?"

He looked at the doors emotionlessly. "...You can ask...but if you don't mind, I'd rather not say just now. But thank you far asking."

Quistis smiled at him and squeezed his hand encouragingly. "That's okay. If you change your mind you can always talk to me."

He smiled at her thankfully. "Thanks, Quistis."

* * *

* * *


	13. Pulling and Pushing

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.

* * *

**- Chapter thirteen: Pulling and Pushing -**

"Go right in, sir."

Squall nodded at the SeeD he had placed right outside the infirmary and entered. He could see Kadowaki at her desk and she didn't seem to look much at ease.

"You sent for me, doctor?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yes...I, err...I know that you told miss Trepe to handle any business concerning miss Heartilly...but I thought I'd best call you. You see..."

She stood up and motioned him to follow her towards one of the rooms.

"If you'd like to follow me..."

She walked into the tiny passageway between two examination rooms. Squall noticed that one of the rooms had a big glass window in it and, to his unpleasant surprise, he could see right into Rinoa's room.

Kadowaki sensed his unease. "Don't worry. This is a one-way mirror. She can't see us."

"Then what is it you want me to see?"

"Well..." Kadowaki hesitated. "Just look at her, Squall. She fell unconcious a few minutes ago. She just passed out. And though I have examined her I can find no reason for it."

Squall looked through the mirror. Rinoa had been placed on a bed and she looked as though she had fallen asleep peacefully, but she didn't move, not even to rub her eyes.

"And there's no explanation at all?"

"Not that I have discovered yet. But my question to you is if she's ever experienced anything like this before. Fainting fits..."

Squall shook his head. "All I can think of is that one time Irvine found her. With the photograph..."

"Hmm, there was a reason for it that time. A surprise like that, angst, can cause fainting. But now...I will examine her more closely. In the mean time, have you discovered anything about the threats?"

Squall turned away.

"Yes." He said briskly. "Yes I did. She received more of them, you know. I found one yesterday. Apparently...apparently someone had found out she was having an affair and wanted to scare her out of it."

Kadowaki said nothing tactfully and kept her eyes fixed on Rinoa's unmoving body. "I see...but an affair, however horrible, is no reason to threaten someone's life, is it?"

"...No. But it's the reason why I don't want to see her. I'll find the stalker but I don't think it'll solve anything now. The damage is done. I know I can't trust her ever again. So I never will." He shrugged his shoulders. "Well doctor, I'd best be off. I have threats to examine."

Kadowaki didn't stop him. She knew that this was not something in which she needed to interfere. Squall pushed through the doors and strode through the office on his way to the main hall. Just as he wanted to leave through the main infirmary doors, Irvine wanted to enter.

Squall stared at him silently. Irvine felt his face grow hot.

"Squall...Is she...okay?" he dared to ask nervously to break the silence.

Squall's eyes narrowed.

"No, no she isn't. Perhaps that would explain why she's in the _infirmary_." he sneered.

Irvine saw the angry look in Squall's eyes and backed away. "Perhaps it's better if I come back another time..."

"Oh no! Don't let me stop you. Go right ahead, I'm sure she's waiting for your company impatiently."

Suddenly Irvine understood. Squall had found out one way or another.

"Listen, Squall. We-"

"I'm done listening, Irvine. I've got other things to do. I've got to find out who's trying to kill her, but you go right ahead and enjoy every intimate minute with her."

Squall stormed off before Irvine could respond, now that Irvine was obviously angry too.

"Oh yeah!" he yelled after Squall. "Well you got _that_ right! You have no idea how 'intimate' me and her were! And she enjoyed every second of it!"

Immediately he felt sorry that he had said those words. He looked around to see if anyone else had head him but the hall was epmty. He sighed. Perhaps this really wasn't the best time for him to go see her.

* * *

Kadowaki looked at her patient. She had woken up again, but still something was not right. Rinoa didn't sit still calmly or wander about through the room. She leaned against a wall and stared at the opposite wall as if she could see right through the glass.

She had asked for a pencil and some paper a while ago, but it lay by her side on the floor as if she had forgotten about it completely.

Kadowaki wondered about that. One moment she was unconcious, the next she wanted paper and then she had gone to sleep, forgetting about the whole thing.

And then there were the flowers. Someone, she expected Squall, had sent her flowers. A bunch of forget-me-nots.

'Very symbolic.' She thought bitterly, taking recent events into account.

But, even though the card had mentioned they were Rinoa's favourites, she wouldn't get near them. And when she did, she exploded into a fit of sneezes as if she was suffering from some sort of allergy. Concidering they had never bothered her before, this was another strange thing adding up to the list.

Kadowaki sighed. What enormous problems for such a young girl. Her dog was dead, her boyfriend left her and her life was being threatened all because she couldn't confine her love to one boy. Hard times indeed.

Kadowaki put down her chart and watched her again. Suddenly Rinoa's eyes opened wide. She looked scared and snapped her head around wildly as if she was trying to discover a hidden person.

Kadowaki leaned in an flipped the speakers on so she could hear what was going on.

"Where are you? Stop talking to me! Stop it! I don't wanna hear you anymore!" Rinoa shouted in panick.

Alarmed, Kadowaki leaned against the glass closer.

"Come out! I know you're there, I can hear you! Will you stop whispering! Stop it! _Stop_!"

Rinoa let out a high-pitched scream and clutched her hands to her head as she sank to her knees. Kadowaki stared around too. There was no one else in the entire infirmary, not in the rooms and not in the office.

So no one could have accidentally opened a speaker to Rinoa's room. Quickly she pressed a button.

"Miss Heartilly...Rinoa, are you okay?"

Rinoa's head snapped up with such speed that it took Kadowaki by surprise. And the sudden moodswing from angst to boredom she read in the girl's eyes startled her.

"Yes doctor, I'm fine. Look, can't you let me out of here? I'm so bored and there's no one for me to talk to. Please?"

Kadowaki hesitated. "I'm not sure that-"

"But I'm doing my head in here! I swear I'll lose my mind if I don't get out soon."

Kadowaki cleared her throat. "I'm afraid that I can't let you go. Even if it is for your own safety. Remember that there's someone out there who threatened you."

Rinoa sat back down on her bed and stared at the floor. Suddenly she noticed the pencil and paper.

"Hey..." she muttered. "When...when did you give me this?"

"You...you asked for it, don't you remember?"

Rinoa shook her head slowly. Kadowaki switched off the speaker and walked away. Something was definitely wrong with that girl. Perhaps Angelo's death had hurt her more than both of them had expected. Perhaps that caused her memory lapse...and her twitchy-ness.

'The shock must have messed up her mind temporarily. Most likely a case of post-trauma anxiety...' she told herself.

The door to the office in the infirmary opened and Irvine came walking through.

He coughed nervously. "Doctor...is it okay if I go in?"

She looked at him. She wasn't completely sure if it was safe for either of them to let him see her, but then again, it would probably do Rinoa good to talk to someone. It would certainly keep her mind occupied for a while.

Kadowaki nodded and watched him walk over to Rinoa's room tentively. Irvine knocked on the door carefully. Then he pressed the release button on the lock to let himself in. He was surprised to see Rinoa sitting on the floor, the tip of her tongue just out the corner of her mouth, a look of purest concentration on her face.

She was drawing something on a piece of paper. He took a few steps closer and peered over her shoulder. To his surprise she was drawing the same picture that had started all their problems. It was the same bird in the same cage. And she wasn't copying off an example. The fright of everything that was happening now had probably etched this drawing in her mind for ever.

"Rinoa?" he said wondrously.

She looked up and immediately tried to cover her drawing when she saw who it was.

"I- Irvine..." she whispered in a distressed voice.

He sat down on his knees and looked at her.

"How are you?" he asked casually.

She shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

"I heard about Angelo...I'm _really_ sorry..."

"...It's not your fault that some sicko..." she stopped and looked away. "Kadowaki insists on keeping me here, but I don't know why. It's driving me crazy to be stuck in this room...and people keep whispering things through the speakers to annoy me. I wish they'd stop doing that. It's really irritating. It keeps me up at night."

"Oh." Irvine looked at his hands. "Rinoa...I know that you and Squall broke up. He was...well, angry is not the right word. I guess that it's for the best."

"I know...it just hurts. You know I still loved him."

"And still I think it's for the best."

"Oh yeah?" she snapped suddenly. "And what about you? You and Selphie still comfortable together? I could have known it would turn out something like this. You've still got your Selphie and I am alone now."

He leaned in.

"You're _not_ alone." He said quietly. "I will be there for you. I'm just not ready to tell Selphie yet. She's so...vulnerable..."

Rinoa turned her head up and looked at the ceiling. "I see. Well then, go back to her. Enjoy her and every minute you spend with her. Keep her in that fantasy world and don't think about me. Don't mind me here, locked up for no reason whatsoever!"

"It's for your own good!" Irvine said, suddenly feeling very angry.

She was attacking him _again_. Why did every conversation between them end in an arguement lately?

"Someone out there is trying to get to you, don't you see that? Those threats are for real, someone wants you dead! How many people have to get hurt before you see that? Wasn't Angelo enough?"

She stared at him with blazing eyes.

"Get out." She hissed. "I don't want to see you here again. Get _out_."

"_Fine_." He stood up and turned his back on her. "Be like that if you want. We're all worried about you but all you do is get angry with us. First you piss off Squall-"

"Like you had nothing to do with that."

"And _now_ you're doing the same to me! You're going to end up very much alone if you keep pushing us away, Rinoa."

"...Bluejay." she said bitterly.

He didn't know how to respond to this sudden change in her. The last time he had called her Bluejay she had objected heavily to it and now she practically made him use that name.

He looked at her as she stood up too. She was holding the drawing, he noticed. She stepped up to hem hesitantly and then threw her arms around his neck, pulling him into a kiss. When she pulled away he had tears burning behind his eyes.

"...Don't do this to me, Rinoa...Please...I can't handle it. Not if you keep pushing me away and then pull me back again every time...I can't take it much longer..."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't be...but _please_, I beg you...make up your mind..."

Then he turned around abruptly and left without another word.

* * *

* * *


	14. Wantings

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.

* * *

**- Chapter fourteen: Wantings -**

Irvine watched the girl next to him from the corner of his eye. He hid his face in his hands for a single moment. He had to make a decision. Would he wait for Rinoa to make up her mind or would he take matters into his own hands? All he could seem to do was sigh heavily, over and over again.

Selphie bit her lip and then, after hesitating slightly, she placed her hand on his.

"Irvine? Are you alright?"

He sighed again, not giving an answer, not reacting to her touch. She bit her lip again. Clingy as he had been before, he was now turning away from her somehow. She felt that, in a way, he was losing interest in her.

"Irvine...want to do something tonight?"

He looked up at her.

"You know, like see a movie or something."

He took her hand and gave her a smile. "That sounds nice...How about we rent one and watch it at home. Much nicer if it's just the two of us instead of a theater filled with strangers."

She smiled broadly. "Wonderful! Shall I go and rent one? I'll make sure it's not too mushy."

She leaned in and pecked his cheek. Then she stood up, slowly turning away from him. She was happy. Tonight everything would turn out to be great. She longed to have his full attention again. He seemed so distant lately and perhaps a quiet romantic evening would change that again. She missed the old flirty Irvine, she admitted to herself.

She turned back. "...Irvine? What about...watching it in my room...? I could cook and...well...What do you think?"

"Sounds perfect, Sefie. I'll be there."

Selphie smiled broadly once more and walked away slowly, happy about what laid ahead. Irvine watched her until she was out of sight and then stared up at the ceiling. Why was he so confused? Rinoa seemed to have a hold on him and he wasn't able to shake it off.

He stood up briskly and walked towards the infirmary with determination. There was only one thing for him to do. He would go and tell her that it was over.

He needed to get loose, to get away from her. He needed to be himself again and most of all, he wanted to make Selphie happy. Happy that he was her boyfriend and that they were together.

He would tell Rinoa that he belonged to Selphie. Tonight he would devote himself to her and the only way he could do that was by cutting himself off from Rinoa for good.

Kadowaki wasn't surpsrised to see him, but still followed him with a watchful eye. Irvine ignored her stare and walked straight towards Rinoa's door. She looked up when the door slid open and she greeted him happily.

"Irvine! I'm so glad you came back! I made up my mind and I needed to tell you."

Irvine didn't mirror her smile. "So have I and I need to tell you first. I made up my mind for good, Rinoa. I'm not going to be there for you after today. I belong with Selphie and she doesn't deserve me sneaking around behind her back with anyone. She loves me, Rinoa, and I care for her so much. I don't want to lose her."

Rinoa stared at him. "You tell me that _now_? It took you long enough to figure out, didn't it"

"Don't be like that. You wanted what we had just as much as I did but you had to pay the price. You lost Squall and I just can't do the same. I can't give up Selphie."

"But I want to be with you! I wanted to tell you that and now you do this? We can be happy together!"

Irvine let out an agrivated sigh. "You say that now but I never know what to expect from you. Sometimes I feel you've got two different personalities...you change your mind more suddenly than a lightning bolt hits the earth and I can't keep up. I'm sorry, Rinoa. But this time it's really over."

"You can't do this!"

She jumped up and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him down into a hug. Her shoulders were shaking and Irvine felt one of her tears stick to his cheek.

"Rinoa..."

He was cut off as she pressed her lips to his. For a moment he answered it, unable to pull himself away from her. But he finally managed to push her away.

"No." He said firmly. "It's over."

She crumpled to the floor, shaking and crying.

"Tears can't make me change my mind. I am serious." He said.

"I know...but so was I. Go then. Go to her and forget about me. In the end, everyone does. No one visits me anymore. But you should go. Goodbye Irvine."

Irvine turned away. He felt guilty, but it had to stop somewhere and this was it. He had said what he had needed to say, there was nothing he could about it now. She had managed to change his mind before, but not today, not anymore. Without saying another word he left.

* * *

"Wait just one more second, I'm almost done!"

Irvine put his hands in his pockets and waited for Selphie to open the door.

"Coming!"

Slowly the door opened. Selphie's head popped around the corner and then she made room for him to enter. The room was dark as he stepped inside. She had lit some small candles scattered across the room.

"Selphie...I, er...well, you've done this place up really nice."

She blushed. "Thanks. I thought it would add something, you know."

Irvine sat down on her bed and watched her scurry around with plates and cuttlery.

"I made something simple, so don't expect a fancy dinner. Would you like to eat first or watch the film? Like I promissed, it's not sappy."

Irvine patted the space next to him. "Sit down first. You don't have to be so tense."

She sat down and pulled the edge of her skirt towards her knees as it crept up a bit.

"I'm not tense..." she said. "I just...want us both to enjoy this evening."

He pulled her close to him and hugged her tightly. "We _will_...But only if you relax. It's not like you have to be nervous about anything. We're just going to watch a movie."

He climbed onto his knees behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. He began to massage her shoulders and neck slowly and she leaned her head back, letting out a content sigh. Suddenly she turned around and kissed him. When she pulled back he looked at her surprised.

"...Where did that come from?" he asked softly, ignoring that she was looking extremely embarressed.

She didn't answer but just looked at him. Her somewhat fearful eyes seemed to ask him something, but he wasn't sure what. She slowly raised her hand to his cheek.

"...Selphie..."

She averted her eyes for a moment but then looked at him with a fire he hadn't seen in her before.

"Do you still love me?" she asked suddenly.

He seemed taken aback by this question. He felt her hand on his cheek grow hot. This girl looked at him with such an enquiring look that it suddely hit him how vulnerable she was. And this was somehow so endearing that he couldn't do anything but smile.

"Yes. I do. Selphie, I count myself so lucky that you chose me to be with. That is a real big honour, even though you might not realise it and even though I'm not worth the faith you have in me."

She blushed again. When he talked like that he made her feel like a princess, a treasure.

"Well...uhm...I know that-" she began. "I know I've been very..._keen_ on keeping a certain distance between us..."

Irvine looked at her curiously. He was wondering where she was going with this.

"I'm not sure-"

"Please hear me out. It's going to be difficult enough for me to say this."

Irvine nodded slowly.

"I feel like I've been...this is going to sound silly." She interrupted herself.

She let out a loud sigh and then looked him straight in the eye.

"I feel like I've been losing you somehow and I'm scared that I won't be able to fix it."

"Selphie, you're not losing me. I'm yours." He leaned in and kissed her.

Suddenly she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him so pationately that it took him a few seconds to realise what was happening. Slowly he felt himself being pushed down his back. He stopped Selphie, pushing her back slightly.

"Selphie, what are you doing?"

She blushed. "I- I want to show you that I love you...I want to let you love me the way you want to...I know you've been waiting for this a long time and I am thankful that you never pushed me."

He averted his eyes for a moment, remembering that one night he had nearly forced her to go to bed with him, and he felt disgusted with himself. He admired Selphie for not bringing it up.

Her fingers slowly went up to the zipper of her dress. She pulled it down and let her dress fall to the ground. Irvine didn't know what to say and just watched her. She was practically wearing nothing now, and she surpressed a shiver as goosbumps appeared on her skin.

Her finger now travelled to the zipper of his jeans and, dazed as he was, he helped to get it off by pulling at the legs. He saw that Selphie had her eyes closed as she slipped his shirt off his shoulders. He lifted her chin and her eyes fluttered open. The look in her eyes was one of insecurity.

"Selphie, is this what _you_ want?"

She tried to look away but he strenghtened his hold in her chin so she had to look at him.

"Is this what you want?" he asked again.

"...Yes..." she whispered softly. "I do want this. I want _you_."

He smiled and leaned in to give her a soft kiss. "Thank you, Selphie. You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that."

He pulled her in an embrace. She felt safe in his arms and closed her eyes as she felt how he unclasped the back of her bra. He slipped the straps off her shoulders.

She let out a soft gasp and folded her arms across her chest as if to protect herself. Irvine took her hands and slowly pulled them away so she couldn't hide behind them anymore.

"You don't have to be scared, Selphie. I won't hurt you."

She nodded and let her arms hang beside her, trembling slightly. He traced his fingers down the side of her hip and stopped for a second when he reached the fabric of her underwear. He looked at her for a moment to get reassurance.

She nodded and took in a small breath as she felt the fabric slither down her legs.

"You are so beautiful." He whispered.

She allowed him to push her down on the bed tenderly the way she had done to him before. He kissed her again.

"You're really sure? You can still say no."

"Irvine..." her voice trembled slightly. "...I don't want to say no."

* * *

"Doctor, I think you should have a look at this...the patient in room three gave me this letter through the gap underneath the door."

Kadowaki took the letter absentmindedly, placing it on top of a small pile of paperwork. The nurse fumbled with her hands nervously and coughed.

"Excuse me, doctor. I think you should look at it _now_."

"Alright..." she said tiredly, picking up the piece of paper again.

"_You might say you feel sorry for our little bird. Sorry that she will remain locked up forever." _She read slowly.

She looked up.

"What bird?" she asked. "What bird...wait, room three you said? That's Rinoa's room..."

"Yes ma'am..."

Kadowaki read the rest of the letter with a worried frown_. "...that she will remain locked up forever. But is this really so wrong? She flew into that cage out of her own free will. She flew in because she thought she would be safe there and she closed the door herself. I say she gets what's coming to her. She deserves to remain in that cage till the day she dies."_

Kadowaki slammed the paper down on her desk.

"What are you still doing here! Go to her room! You left her unsupervised when you knew you shouldn't!"

The nurse backed out the door and hurried back to Rinoa's room. Kadowaki looked back at the note and rubbed her forehead. What did this mean? And what was the note all about? That bird...

A piercing scream came from the room she had just sent the nurse to. Kadowaki slammed through the door. The nurse was sitting on her knees, next to Rinoa's body. She was sprawled on the floor, her black hair scattered around her head.

When Kadowaki circled around the two of them, she saw that there was blood coming from her wrists. The young nurse was already busy trying to stop the bloodflow. Kadowaki leaned in and looked at Rinoa's face.

Pale as it was, there still was a hint of red in her cheeks and thankfully she still moved, moaning softly when the nurse tied a bandage around her left wrist.

"Make sure those bandages aren't too tight." Kadowaki said hastly before she left the room. "I need to find the Commander. Do you know where he is?"

The nurse shook her head, silently continuing her work.

"Right, I'll use the com-system. Stay with her. I'll be right back."

* * *

* * *


	15. Unravelling the Secrets

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.

* * *

**- Chapter fifteen: Unravelling the secrets -**

"Selphie?"

"Hmmm...?"

"...Are you...okay?"

The girl in his arms snuggled up a little closer to him.

"I'm fine." She said softly.

Irvine stroked her head tenderly.

"I'm glad." He whispered. "I was scared that I might've-"

"_You_ were scared?" she asked surprised.

He smiled. "Yeah, of course I was. I knew it was your first time...and that can be...painful. I just wanted it to be comfortable for you. I was scared of hurting you..."

Selphie giggled and kissed his bare shoulder. "Thank you. For being so sweet. And I'll admit it was a bit scary at first...but...I felt safe because it was you."

Irvine kissed the top of her head.

"I feel really special." She whispered. "I'm glad it was you."

She rested her head on his chest and sighed contently. Irvine caressed her hair gently as he stared up at the ceiling. It still felt a little confusing to realise what they had just done. Not that he wasn't used to it, but because of Selphie.

It had been on her incentive. She had given the signal, she had said the words. Even though she was a shy person, it had been her idea. She had trusted him.

But still a little guilty feeling was nagging in the back of his mind because he knew that Rinoa had been playing through his mind every second of it. He knew that Selphie had been wrong to place such trust in him. He had cheated on her and she had believed him to be honest and _that_ was why she had trusted him.

Selphie muttered something to him and he shoved these thougts to the back of his mind. "What?"

"I said 'what's that noise'?"

"What noise?" he asked confusedly.

"Listen, out there in the hallway. Someone is speaking through the microphones, but I can't make it out."

Irvine stood up and listened at the door while slipping his trousers back on.

"I reapeat, Commander Leonheart to the infirmary. This is an emergancy!" sounded Kadowaki's voice.

Irvine's heart skipped a beat or two.

"Rinoa..." he whispered.

Feverishly he pulled his shirt on over his head and forced his feet into his shoes. He never should have left her like that.

"What did you say?" Selphie asked confused as she watched him put his clothes back on. "What's going on outside?"

"...I've got to go." He said breathlessly.

"What?" she exclaimed. "You have to go _now_? _Right now_?"

Irvine didn't respond.

"Irvine!"

She sat up straight, clasping the sheets to her chest. He shook his head absentmindedly, as if he had forgotten about the girl in the bed completely, and walked towards the door.

"_Irvine!_" Selphie called again.

But he was already gone and she was staring at the closed door. The silence that followed fell over her like a thik blanket, almost choking her. She lowered her head slowly, her hand tightening into a tiny fist around the cloth. What had she done wrong? Had she been too cuddly? Had it been that bad?

She felt a tear roll down from her eye as she sat up, letting her feet touch the cold floor. Feeling humiliated, she reached down to pick up her clothes, still clutching the sheets tightly.

* * *

"Commander Leonheart to the infirmary. I repeat, Commander Leonheart to the infirmary. This is an emergancy!"

Squall kept looking at his cup of coffee grumpily. Quistis watched him curiously. He didn't move.

"Squall..." she said slowly.

His answer was a low grunt.

"Squall, you _did_ hear that, didn't you."

Again just a low grunt. She sighed. Something had been troubling him this last day or two, but he wasn't someone who shared his feelings easily. So she could only guess what it was and she had to choose her words carefully.

"Aren't you going? It sounds like they need you."

Now he didn't even grunt and simply ignored her.

"Squall, this might be about _Rinoa._ Don't you think-"

"Just leave it, Quistis." He said suddenly, pushing his coffee away from him forcefully. "I don't care, even if it did concern her. _Especially_ if it concers her."

"Squall!" Quistis exclaimed surprised.

She had seen him angry or sullen before. It was one of the few emotions he did share easily, making sure everyone had the opportunity to enjoy it.

"I don't think you really feel like that. Now I might not know what the problem is with you and her, but she's still our friend. And if you're called to the infirmary, then go!"

When he tried to ignore her she slammed her hands down on the table.

"Commander!" she shouted.

"Alright..." he hissed. "I'll go. But don't think for one minute..."

He sighed.

"Forget it, I'm not even going to explain." He turned around and stormed off.

* * *

Irvine held his eyes fixed on the floor. His head was spinning with everything that was going through his mind. Rinoa was in trouble. Why else would the doctor have called for Squall. Would Squall even care? What could be wrong?

Turning a sharp corner, he rushed into the infirmary.

"Doctor!" he shouted. "Doctor what's going on? Where's Rinoa?"

The doctor emerged from a room at the end of the small corridor. There were red stains on her white coat. They were tiny, but Irvine noticed them immediately. He turned pale.

'I should never have left her, I should never have turned her away like that.'

He should have realised there was something wrong when she had acted so strange that afternoon. And now...

"Please tell me she's alright. I know you called for Squall, but I didn't think he'd show, so I came- Please tell me she's fine!" he babbled.

Kadowaki didn't smile.

"She's...she's in here, Irvine..." she said with a tired sigh. "You'd better come in."

Irvine nodded and wanted to walk into the room but Kadowaki hesitated.

"...I really had hoped Squall would have answered...I'm not sure you're the one...that you want to see..."

"Well Squall isn't here." Irvine said, his voice turning harsh quickly.

"I know. So perhaps you _should_ come in. I just wanted to wawrn you..."

She let out a resigned sigh and held the door open. Irvine cast his eyes on the floor as he entered. Somehow now that he could finally enter, he was afraid of what he would see inside. The doctor hadn't said anything about Rinoa's health when he had asked about it.

He heard soft groaning and recognised Rinoa's voice. Looking up at last, he stared at the nurse's hands, watching them tie and smooth bandages around Rinoa's wrists. His breath got stuck in his throat for a moment when he saw two dark red stains coming through the white fabric.

The nurse nodded her head in acknowledgement at him and rested Rinoa's arm by her side on the bed.

"What hapened?" he croaked.

He sat down on the side of the bed but didn't touch her hand.

"We found her like that. All we could do was bind it and place her somewhere more comfortable."

"She inflicted this on herself?" he whispered incredulously.

When Kadowaki staid silent he got back to his feet and left. The image of those bound wrists seemed to be stuck to his eyes. He pushed the door of the infirmary open and shivered when it fell shut behind him. Had she done that to herself? Had she hurt herself because of him?

Was it his fault for leaving her on her own when she had clearly been unstable at the time? He should have noticed there was something wrong. This was his fault. He'd never forgive himself if she didn't recover from this.

"Irvine."

He looked up and saw Squall standing still a short distance away. He lifted his chin up in the air a bit.

"So you decided to show up. I'm surprised." He said coolly.

"She's my girlfriend. I'm expected to show up."

"Oh, made up with her, have you?" Irvine sneered.

Squall gritted his teeth.

"I've been more to her than you will ever be." He hissed. "You'll never be able to understand the things she shared with me."

"Boys!" doctor Kadowaki called out as she pushed the door open. "This is a hospital wing. Squall, good that you're here. I need to show you something."

She placed a hand on his shoulder and pushed him inside before he could throw another comment at Irvine. Not wanting to be left out, Irvine followed them.

"She wrote this." Kadowaki said quietly.

She handed Squall a note and he read it silently. But before Irvine could say something he started to read it out loud.

"_You might say you feel sorry for our little bird. Sorry that she will remain locked up forever. But is this really so wrong? She flew into that cage out of her own free will. She flew in because she thought she would be safe there and she closed the door herself. I say she gets what's coming to her. She deserves to remain in that cage till the day she dies."_

Irvine suddenly felt his eyes open wide. He understood now. So she had almost been right in acusing him. No one else but one of them could have heard their conversations. If it hadn't been him, then...

"I've been wondering about that." Kadowaki said. "I don't understand what bird she's talking about."

"...I do." Irvine said quietly when Kadowaki couldn't hear. "I know only too well."

Squall looked at him strangely.

"Rinoa wrote this, right? You must have noticed that it's about the same story as on the posters."

Squall turned around, gripping the note tightly. Irvine watched him storm off, knowing he'd be in their room, rummaging through drawers and cupboards to find more notes, to compare the handwriting.

* * *

He opened a drawer forcefully. He needed to find something...he needed to see for himself that Rinoa had really-

He threw open the closet in his room and carelessly rummaged around in the clothes on the pegs and on the floor. He cursed when everything fell down, causing an even greater mess. Then he turned around wildly and looked around. Where could she have hidden it?

Suddenly he spotted their desk. He could picture Rinoa sitting behind it so well. It suddenly struck him how often she had sat behind it, writing, drawing...He sat down in the chair slowly. His hands touching the surface of the desk softly, gliding over it as if he was trying to check if it was real.

The he let his hand slide down to the drawers. He opened the top one, surprised it wasn't locked. There was a neat pile of paper inside it and next to it were her drawing pens, pencils and an eraser. He took the pile out and placed it on the surface in front of him. The first page was blank, so were the second and the third, all the way up to the eleventh one.

But the twelth page had a drawing on it. It was a bird, the same one that had been pasted all over the walls of Garden not too long ago. He turned to the next page, and the next, and the next. All of them bore the same drawing.

He took all the drawings and placed them back inside the drawer. Then he looked at the rest of the pile. The pages that were now left all had text on them. He read them quickly and recognised all of it. These handwritten pages carried the same words as those posters that had been plaguing him, Quistis and Garden.

It had been Rinoa all this time. She had written the stories, she had written the notes, she had probably even killed Angelo herself...But why!

He had to fight the burning feeling inside him. Why had she done all of this...threatening herself, threathing Angelo, trying to kill herself...

He grasped the pile and clenched it tightly in his hand. He would go and confront her right away. She would have to explain _everything._

He stood up and marched out the room. The door slid open and suddenly he found himself face to face with Selphie. Her face was puffy and red and her mascara had run down her cheeks. Her dress was crumpled and one of the straps was hanging loose off her shoulder.

* * *

* * *


	16. The End

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.

* * *

**- Chapter sixteen: The End -**

She looked up at him and he could see she was keeping more tears back. He wanted to say something but didn't know what and neither did she. Suddenly she threw her arms around him and started shaking.

"...Selphie...what happened?"

She sobbed.

"I don't know what I did wrong..." she cried softly. "I thought we were doing alright. I thought that this would make him love me again."

Squall hugged her.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

She looked up. "We- well...Him and me...you know...We slept together, Squall...But then he got up and left and-"

"What!" he nearly shouted. "Why? What happened?"

"I don't know." She cried. "One minute we were just fine, talking and stuff. And then he heard something over the intercom and he jumped up and left."

She wiped away a few tears. Squall felt his grip on the sheets of paper tighten. Selphie was a wonderful girl, but she was also a bit naïve and too sweet sometimes. How could Irvine have used her like that?

He gripped Selphie's wrist.

"Come on." He said. "I want you to let the doctor check you out. Better safe than sorry..."

Selphie allowed herself to be dragged off. She had never felt so humiliated before and she was thankful that Squall didn't tell her off and that he didn't laugh. He made her feel that she was important after all.

'Thank Hyne Squall was here.' She thought bitterly.

They reached the Infirmary and Squall pulled her inside. The doctor looked at them with a worried frown.

"Squall...have you found anything?"

He silently placed the pile of paper he had been holding all this time on the desk.

"Selphie needs checking up." He said, ignoring Kadowaki's curious glance. "...What kind of check up."

Selphie shuffled her feet and looked away.

"Boy trouble." Squall muttered, not looking at his friend.

Kadowaki nodded, a sudden understanding look of sympathy on her face. Then, raising his voice, Squall slammed his hand down on the pile of paper he had brought along.

"And I want the Headmaster here. I need to discuss all of this with him."

"He has already been informed of Rinoa's situation. He's on his way down."

Selphie sat down and Squall placed his hand on her shoulder. He squeezed it encouragingly for a moment, silently cursing Irvine to hell and back for everything he had done. Kadowaki walked away and bustled around in one of the empty rooms. Then she came back out and looked over at the two of them.

"Miss Tilmitt, this way please."

The door closed behind them and Squall finally let out a sigh. The rush of things that had happened these last two days was just too much. What was he supposed to do, to think? How could he ever forgive Rinoa for what she had done to him?

He walked over to her room and looked through the mirrored glass window. He could see her lying on the bed, looking helpless and so vulnerable. The bandages around her wrists had just been changed. He raised his hand to tbe glass.

Sitting on the edge of the bed was Irvine, holding her hand. Squall tightened his hand into a fist, biting on his lip to fight back tears once more. He felt so betrayed. A sharp pang struck his heart. Seeing them this way, he could only wonder how long the two of them had been seeing each other secretly. With an unbearable pain in his heart, he turned his eyes away from this sight.

The door behind him opened. He jumped to attention when she saw it was Cid who had entered.

"At ease, Squall." He said, slightly surprised.

"Sir...I need to talk to you. I think I know who it was who posted the stories an the drawings...and the threats to Rinoa."

"You do? Well, what are you waiting for?"

"Sir, it's just that I don't understand. What made her do it?"

"Made who do it, Squall?"

"Rinoa, sir...She did it herself." He said defeatedly.

Cid looked up. "She killed her own dog? She threatened herself? That's a serious accusation, Squall. Taking everything, from the posters to the fire and the dog, into account. Without any proof it'll be hard to convince anyone."

"I have proof, sir. Those papers on Kadowaki's desk are pages I found in her desk. It's her handwriting and there are earlier sketches of the drawing in the pile as well. She must have been planning this for a while..."

Cid rested his head in his hands. "But why...why would she do all of this. It's just so..."

"Unbelievable?" Doctor Kadowaki said.

They looked up and saw she had come back and she was now standing in the opening of the examination room door.

"...Yes." Cid said, sinking down in a chair behind the desk.

Kadowaki gave Squall a reassuring look. "Selphie's fine. There's nothing to worry about."

"Thank Hyne." Squall sighed.

He couldn't have handled a pregnant Selphie on top of everything else. And he could hardly imagine Irvine taking care of her.

"And Rinoa?" Cid asked

"She's fine too...for someone in her condition."

"You mean her self-inflicted injuries." Cid said with a nod, his face contracted in a serious frown. "That's good to hear."

"...No...not just that." Kadowaki said hesitantly. "I think there's more to it than that. There's something more going on with her than any of us expected. The fact that she inflicted those wounds on herself shows us that she was trying to cope with something that was just too much for her. She couldn't take everything that was going on. But...I believe that she didn't know what she was doing at the time."

"What do you mean?" Squall said.

His head was spinning. Had it really all been that bad for her? He hadn't even concidered that it might have been hard for her. He had just assumed that she hadn't cared and that he was the only one who had ended up hurt.

"Are you saying she did it in her sleep?" he asked, trying to get an answer.

"No." Kadowaki said firmly. "I'm saying she did all of this, and probably a whole lot more, without knowing so. I'm saying that she suffers from MPS."

"...What's that?"

"It means Multiple Personality Syndrome. We've been watching her the last few days. She was twitchy, moody, developed sudden allergies she normally didn't have...She would ask for something and then never remember. I thought about it once, only quickly. It was a look she gave me. But I didn't dare say it aloud. Only when you said that she had written the posters and the notes did I think I had enough proof."

Kadowaki leaned down on her desk with her hands and closed her eyes for a moment.

"She never had any recollection of writing or drawing those things and was just as surprised as the rest of us."

Another door opened, the one to Rinoa's room. It was Irvine who came out.

"Not _just_ as surprised...but even more. And scared too." He said. "I know that because she blamed me, thinking I had written them. The things on the posters were often the same words we had used in conversations. Come the next day, they'd show up on the wall for everyone to see."

Squall didn't look at him. So he had been reading their conversations without knowing it...He had been looking at the truth about her all this time and he hadn't realised.

"So she really did write it herself." Cid said. "But you said she didn't know. And what does this MPS explain?"

"It would explain why she couldn't remember all those things if she had, for some reason, created another personality inside her. Someone else in her body besides Rinoa. Someone who could do the things she herself could not."

'Bluejay!' Irvine thought suddenly.

"Can you think of a reason?"

"...Guilt." Squall muttered.

Everyone but Irvine looked at him.

"Guilt?"

"She had an affair with Irvine behind my back." He said loudly.

Irvine looked at the ground. "It's true. But she found it so hard to do anything that could hurt you like this. She still loved you so much."

Squall glared at him.

Kadowaki was the one to break the tense silence first. "A strong feeling of guilt could be the reason why. It _is_ very plausible."

"Is there a cure? Some way we can help her?" Cid asked, leaning his chin on his hand.

"Not really. Extensive therapy might do some good...but there's no guarantee that she'll get over it. It could take years..."

Irvine closed his eyes. She was ill and it was his fault. This had happened to her only because of their relationship.

"I never meant for this to happen." He whispered, barely audible.

Squall still ignored him.

"It's alright." Kadowaki said soothingly. "No one could ever mean for this to happen."

But he shrugged off the hand she had placed on his shoulder and ran for the door, leaving them behind in the infirmary. Cid stood up.

"I will have to inform her father. And we'll need to make some arrangements too..."

"And I will need to check up on my patient. Why don't you look in on Selphie for a moment?"

"...If you both don't mind...I'd like a mometn alone with Rinoa..." Squall said quietly but firmly.

They nodded silently and let him enter her room. He let his eyes travel all over the room as he went inside. As he sat down on the side of her bed, he realised he was sitting where Irvine had been sitting. Taking her hand, he realised that Irvine had done the same only minutes before.

Rinoa's eyes were open and she stared at him without saying a word. How could he forgive her for what she had done to him? He knew he couldn't hate her anymore now he saw her like this, hurt and vulnerable. The bandages only accentuated her vulnerability.

She raised her arm and tried to stroke his cheek, but he pushed her hand away. He knew that, from now on, whenever he'd see her, he would see Irvine too in his mind. Whenever she would touch him, he would _know_ that she had done the same to Irvine. Seeing her would only remember him of the hurt they had caused him.

Without having said a word to her, he left again. He knew that he would never see her again. Even if he had the possibility to, he wouldn't.

* * *

* * *

(AN: There's one more chapter to come, an epilogue. So don't think this is the ending, even though the chapter title does imply it :D)


	17. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters, I do not own the places. I don't own anything related to FFVIII, all I own is the plot.

* * *

**- Epilogue -**

"Squall, come on...You don't need to lock yourself in your room. She's almost gone...Cid called her father and he's having her picked up. The van is already outside! Are you sure you don't want to say goodbye?"

He groaned. He didn't want to. All he wanted to do was to sit in his room, and feel lonely. But he couldn't just ignore Selphie, who was knocking on his door. He rubbed his face, stood up and opened the door. Selphie seemed surprised he had opened it.

"...So you do want to say goodbye." She said with an almost satisfied tone of voice.

"Not really." He said indifferently.

"But Squall...It's not her fault she did all of those things. She wasn't herself."

'Poor Selphie' he thought.

He hadn't told her more than she had needed to know. Just that it had been Rinoa who had started the fire in the Quad and that she had also killed Angelo. She didn't know anything about the affair with Irvine and Squall wasn't planning on telling her either.

"Selphie, it's just a little bit more complicated than that, and a lot more personal. There's more to it. Rinoa and I hadn't been that steady for a while anyway...We hadn't been getting on as well as we used to." He said finaly.

Selphie shrugged. "Well, I saw doctor Kadowaki outside. She was talking to someone who came with the van. They're taking Rinoa to her father's in Deling. I heard her father say they were going to hire someone to keep an eye on her."

She took Squall's hand.

"Come on. At least walk me to the entrance."

Squall followed her dutifully. But once they had reached the gates to the grounds outside, he halted.

"I think I'd rather stay here, Selphie. I don't think it'll help if I see her. It won't do any good."

"Well...okay, if you're sure." She said quietly.

She had hoped that seeing Rinoa again would have perhaps made them part more pleasently. Perhaps it would have made them happy again. That was all she wanted, for her friends to be happy again.

She let go of his hand. "I'll be right back, it won't take long."

She walked through the gates, disappointed that she hadn't been able to persuade him to come with her. Squall leaned against a wall and looked at the floor. He didn't bother to look up when he heard more footsteps, recognising Quistis and Zell from the corner of his eye.

They hadn't notcied him and hurried out the gates quickly. He guessed they wanted to say goodbye to Rinoa too. Just when he started to wonder whether Irvine was coming to say goodbye too, he saw him walking towards the gates from the other side of the hall.

Somehow Squall suddenly found himself striding forward as well. It didn't seem right to him that Irvine was going to say goodbye to his lover in front of his girlfriend. He passed Irvine, turned around sharply and stopped right in front of him.

"Hey Irvine, where are you going?" he said loudly.

Irvine stopped dead in his tracks. Obviously he hadn't realised it had been Squall walking by.

"...I'm going to say goodbye to Rinoa, why?"

"Don't you think you should be going to do something else?"

"Like what?"

"Like telling Selphie the truth!" Squall said harshly. "She deserves that much, doesn't she?"

"Why don't you stay out of this, huh Squall." Irvine sneered back. "This is none of your business."

"I'm _making_ it mine. I had to take Selphie to the infirmary yesterday because of you. You know what they used on her? The _rape_ kit. Because of you, Irvine! Because you used her!"

"That's absolutely none of your business! What Selphie and I do together is private!"

"Not anymore. It lost it's privacy when she knocked on my door with tear-stained cheeks! And that's how she reacted _without_ knowing about Rinoa!"

"Exactly!" Irvine bellowed. "That's bad enough as it is! So why should I hurt her more? I don't want to break her heart! Why should I tell her!"

His words echoed through the hall. Squall was quiet, knowing he had said everything he could have said to try and persuade Irvine. Irvine closed his eyes, but for another reason than Squall might have expected.

'Hyne, no.' He thought.

He had spotted a yellow dress somewhere behind Squall. He ran his hand over his head, swiping off his hat. Squall turned his head over his shoulder, following Irvine's gaze. He quickly looked at Irvine again when he saw Selphie behind him. He tightened his fists. This was exactly what he hadn't wanted to happen. He hadn't wanted Selphie to find out this way.

Selphie broke the silence with a nervous giggle.

"I'm almost afraid to ask." She said, trying to get her voice to sound as if she was making a joke.

"Selphie..." Irvine began, sounding hesitant and slow as he was thinking what he should say.

"No, Irvine." Squall said threateningly. "No more lies."

"What lies?" Selphie asked, now sounding genuinly nervous. "Irvine, what is he talking about?"

"Sweetheart, you know I love you, right? I love you so much and nothing can ever change that. You kow that, don't you babe? And you feel the same, don't you?"

She looked at Squall curiously. "What's going on? Squall, what do you kow that I don't?"

"Sweetheart, you love me too, don't you?" Irvine encouraged her.

She took a few more steps forward and stopped next to Squall "Well...I suppose I do...I mean, I'm angry about yesterday, I'm still mad at you for that. But-"

"Selphie, don't." Squall said suddenly. "He's going to make excuses, you know he will. But there's more that he's going to need to excuse than just yesterday."

She looked at him with unbelief. "What do you mean, more? Irvine, just say what you've got to say!"

Irvine took a deep breath and looked at Squall for help, but he averted his eyes.

"It doesn't meant that I don't care for you, because I do. But, you kow, caring...isn't always enough...and you...you couldn't always give me what I needed." He muttered. "So I felt a bit...I don't know what I felt...but I know Rinoa felt the same. She knew what I meant..."

"You're saying Rinoa understood you better than I did? So that's where that whole 'kid, not a woman' thing came from!" she said angrily, placing her hands on her hips.

"It's more than that, Selphie." Squall said, keeping his voice low.

Selphie looked at him, now with fear in her eyes. "You know about this too? Please tell me that this isn't want it sounds like. Please tell me that I got this all wrong!"

Squall shook his head, not looking at her. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

He placed a protective arm around her and hugged her tightly. He could feel she was beginning to shake but her held her so tight that it was barely visible. He didn't want Irvine to see Selphie like this.

She started to cry slowly and quietly and he could feel tears leaking through his shirt. Suddenly she stopped. She looked up at him with a determined, though tear-stained, face and wiped her cheeks dry.

"You don't have anything to be sorry about. You're just as much a victim in this." She said, surpressing sniffs.

"Selphie..." Irvine tried.

Her head snapped in his direction and she glared as vicously as she could muster.

"_Don't_ talk to me. I don't have anything to say to you." She hissed.

"But-"

"Don't you think it's time you left, Irvine?" Squall interrupted, holding his head high in the air, suddenly knowing what he had to do.

"But I-"

"I think that would be a good idea." Selphie added.

"Wait, you can't just throw me out of here...This is my home, my school!"

"Not anymore, Kinneas. I's using my authority as a Commander to expell you without any delay." Squall said coldly. "Go back to Galbadia Garden or not, it's up to you. But you can pick your things up there."

Irvine tried to make some eyecontact with Selphie, but she just stared at him as coldy as Squall did. Squall placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You are no longer allowed to be on these premises, mister Kinneas. I will kindly ask you to leave. Come on, Selphie."

Selphie turned around and walked away. Squall followed her quickly without looking at Irvine again. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she finaly allowed herself to cry. Irvine could see her shoulders shake and he heard she was trying to keep her sobs quiet.

His hand tightened to a fist and a single tear took shape in the corner of his eye. He forced this terrible feeling he felt inside away, not wanting to let it take over.

"Hey Squall!" he shouted bitterly. "You can't do this!"

Squall didn't respond.

"Come on, man! I live here! You can't _do_ this!"

But when still no answer came, he turned around.

"Fine." He muttered bitterly.

He dried his eyes with his sleeve forcefully. Then he placed his hat back on his head, straightened his jacket and started to walk. It was the only thing he could do. This Garden was no longer his home, and he knew that he alone was to blame for it. It had been his own fault.

He didn't even bother to look back once he had reached the gate. And as it closed behind him, he knew that he would never set foot inside that school again.

* * *

**The End**

* * *


End file.
